- Two-Cent Therapy -
Broken dreams scattered to the wind, as I lay on my back with the clouds taking over me.
Happiness, Joy, Enlightenment - such things are mistken in the sliver of re-processed light in the greying twilight. Sing softly to myself as I wait for the tears to come.
Alone in this place, I can cry to my absolution's content.
Am I worthy to be loved? I mean, when considered, 'Love' is not an ideal one has to be worthy of to recieve - millions love everyday without being 'worthy', so why do I think myself different from those around me.
Is it just because I spend more time in Fantasy and dreaming than most?
Still puzzled, I rest my head on my hands and squirm into a more comfortable position here on the unforgiving grass.
That says something, doesn't it? Alas, I'm too focused to care.
So what of these tears streaming down my face so silently? Where did they come from?
From a thousand times that I could not allow my words to protect me and those I loved from certian wrath from a 'loved' one.
I don't have regrets. Regrets are something that you carry around and then dump on your therapist's lap and say,
"Here's my messed-up past. Now why did it happen like that? And please remember, I'm paying you $475.00 a session to fix it - so hurry up and start."
They give you text-book answers for your un-researched pain, and expect some gratitude when you show up at your next appointment.
"Oh, it didn't work? How strange."
Then scribble in their Doctor's incomprehensible writing about how they've just hooked you into another appointment. This is the kind of refuge Society offers to its grieving ones.
Great treatment, eh?
No, I don't feel like talking. "Why?" "Cause I don't, now drop it."
Ah- and so begins the great connundrum - you've paid them to prod you into submission -'cause you need to unburden your soul - and why not to someone who only trusts that your VISA is accurate?
Now, I'm not knocking therapy - it can work for some people, and ironically - it worked for me.....so I'm saying if it helps you - go for it - cause we all need to heal.
However, for those who have been branded by labels and 'disorders' when they're really just misunderstood, well, this the the aftermath of the System. It needs it's annonomolies, right?
And aren't you just the perfect candidate?