The Darkness that Lies in Me

Back when I was a kid, I always seem to be full of laughter and joy. But now, all seems to change. I don't even know what happened to me. My life seems confusing now. I really don't know if I still have a reason to go on. Everyday, I feel like I'm slowly decaying. My old sweet self is already waving goodbye to me and darkness is beginning to say hello. I'm always trying to run away from it but it's always chasing me. I know that one day, I'm going to fall apart. I'm already changing…changing for the worst that is! I'm really scared of what could become of me. Darkness won't even let me escape. Is this what they so-called destiny? What do I really want in life anyway? Am I going to die soon? Why am I even in this world?! Those are the questions that are always playing in my mind. I don't want this life. I just wish that this is only a bad dream. A dream that would vanish once I wake up. But it's not…this is reality, the real world. I'm already losing hope for my pathetic self. Maybe one day…I might just give up. I'm beginning to despise all the people in this world. Even my family, relatives, and friends. I can't even trust anybody anymore. But, I wanted to think that I still love my family. I think that they're my only reason to live…only just to protect my family…that's all. But still, the darkness that lies within me is very strong. It wants to be released from its imprisonment. I'm losing the only lighted-candle that remains in my heart. It's true that I hated my family but, even so, I still want to love them! I don't want to blow the only lighted-candle that remains in me. They could be the only one who could save me from this curse, or they could be the one that would lead me into complete darkness. This is my gamble. If the wind blows in the right direction, It might slowly light all the candles but, if it's the other way around, I don't know what would become of me.