Coming Up Quickly
Funny... I've got all the time in the world for you. Why don't I use it? It's a wicked lie to myself just to keep myself safe from the pain, the pain that your smile gives me every waking day. I can't stop wasting the hours just talking endlessly about nothing. It's another way to move away from you. Somehow I hate it.
Will I hold you again? Wasting the hours of stupid questions like will it rain and hail today? I'm binded to you. Got to learn, got to fly. I have to teach myself again how to not cry.
Twisted lies and twisted truths won't be able to hold me down to put myself away from this spell that has blinded my mind to more delusions about you. It's not a question of sanity, neither is it a question of perfect submission to your deadly web but it's a submission to only what I could understand.
There's this space, though, between dreams and reality. That's where you can find me. Random splashes of sadness and delirium lies in there too. I know there is no corner in your world that you can even dare squeeze me in but that's why I have my own world. This is just the place where I lie to myself about having you but I also lie to myself that here I can forget about you. It's a wild eye of Insanity that watches me here. Its the only retreat I have against you. Funny, it's also the space where I could dream and be happy with an illusion of you. Hold on to yourself to hold onto me. Think for a sec, no, think for so long. This space will not be open forever. Somehow, I want you to miss it.
This space is where I'll wait for you, the space where I could be me, though I could only wish to be every little thing you wanted and dreamed of. Give me a little credit if it'll be the least of the bit. Have a little faith in me when I say what I should, but if you think that I am just a little waste of everything you have ever dreamed of I think I'll just ruin your day, because once you walk on the edge and you wish so hard that you want to fall, I'll be there to catch your hand before you even hit the pavement.
Could you let me in to see you in your most splendid hour? I see you coming. I want you to believe in my existence, but why do I feel that you're going away? I just wish I could be whatever you wish me to be, but that won't be fair, but when was it ever fair? I know its never right whenever you find yourself having nothing in you hands, but you should never really let yourself hang on to the no promise of tomorrow when hope is right here, with me.
It's not just a dream if you look my way, I promise. It's also not just some ordinary moment in your life either. Please don't run. I know there is no hope in you for me whenever you see that hopeless look in me. I know that there are spaces in my heart, those spaces space I always seem to talk about, and that's where my never ending smiles lay. I want to bring you there with me.
I always dream alone in my space, dreaming over time and over you. Wait, no, never over you. I'm never over you. I never wasted a day trying to get over you but it all proved me weak. I always am looking towards you. Looking for you in the most empty and most delirious places I have ever dreamed of, but not in my space, because I know never will you be there.
Lift me up. Lift me up without a sound into the paradise of you, so even just for once I can have a little reason to say that I know you. Please, let me find out who you are. Let me find out that lingering mystery that is you. Let me drift away in my own dreams forever, now and ever.
Don't give me up tonight, not now, not when I'm so close to learning who you are. Hold me and don't give me up. I know the answers that you look for are not always there wherever you look, but don't talk dreams. It's hard to hide my answer to you that it's always been you I've been wishing for.
I wish I could be everything you wanted and more to make you proud, but you found yourself out too late. I'm already caught in you. Also, lost in the confusion of the real you and the dream you. I just wish I could be everything, simply every little thing, so you won't leave me for whoever or whatever, but why do I have this feeling that you've gone away?
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted for all the world, for all the reasons against this that I have. I wish I could be that, but why do I have the feeling that it's too late? That already you are gone in the chasms before my space.