There are many things I do not want to have to do again.. My mother once told me „ being a teenager is a hard thing. I would not wish it on my worst enemy" I found that interesting and I know what she means. There are things that we learn by living through them. there are things that we must see to understand.this whole self-confidence thing is a bitch. I know.. bad word.. but it is true. I know people that use cuss words are people who have no better way to express themselves.. And seeing as I would like to be seen as a writer using cusswords don´t really help me in my task of describing what I see but anyway.
weight as I said before has been a big problem for me..it made me more selfconscious and made me hide more.. I hide because I was shy.. Well I am still a bit shy.. and it just made it worse.. I am not more selfconfident. I like the person I am (most of the time). And this body.. does not let me express who I am. This body hides who I am. I don´t want to be hidden behind anymore.. I want to be able to wear whatever and not care. I what you be outrageous and funky. I want to be wacky and pretty. I want to be free.. not weighted down.
I suppose that is what we all want.. we want to be free.. want to be self-sufficient..self-confident.. content with ourselves.. FREE in the real non-tangible way.