now with a new and improved title!

matricide.

i.
is this the life you wanted for me,
mother?
is this what you had in mind --
when you left me behind on a cold stone step
like something out of a shirley temple
movie?
did you think i would forgive you --
did you think that i would forget?
when you left me behind
did you miss the warm heft of my
body against your chest?
or was getting rid of me
no tougher a task than
taking out the trash?
(was i the trash mother was i?)

ii.
do you miss me
mother,
do you miss me?
have i ever crossed the back of your mind,
mother,
since you gave me away?
am i still your demon baby,
or have you given up on those stupid
superstitions,
mother?
do you remember me,
mother,
do you remember the one you gave up or
have you filled my absence in your life
with replacement
children?

iii.
i don't miss you,
mother,
i don't miss you and i think it's funny
that i'm calling you mother when
i'm sure you've never once called for me.
i've had three names,
mother.
did you know that?
do you even care?
(i know nothing about you mother do you know anything about me?)