Author's Note: Well, if any of you started to read my new story, Consumed by Feeling, you'll know that I'm back, and I'm going to try and write as much as possible. I'm still really sorry for having been gone so long. I really have been trying to get through a lot in my life and I'm trying to deal with everything.
Anyways, this story is back! I'm putting A Challenge on hold, even after all of this (sorry!) but I really need to edit that. And I'm planning on editing the previous chapters of this story too, because I don't feel like they were the best I could have written. Maybe they were then, I'm not sure, but they are definetly not. This story is nearing it's ending though and the edits to the previous chapters, will most likely be made then.
Andrew couldn't believe that after all of this, Sam had been able to forgive him. That idea seemed like such an impossible thing, like it was such a dream, but yet, they were sitting together in Luke's car, holding each other. His eyes were swollen, his shirt wet, but he was here with her, didn't that matter?
What Andrew couldn't handle, though, was the fact that Sam had killed herself. She had commited suicicide because of him. He had raped her, knowing that she had been raped before. He had thought that he loved her, but raped her, and because of that, Sam wasn't even alive anymore. She was a ghost. He could still see her and feel the tears that dripped down her face. He could try and wipe them all away. But to the normal human world, she longer existed. She was gone.
That was what truly hurt. How could he have had done that? He couldn't understand that now. People made mistakes in life, that was true, but how could he have done something as horrible as that? Andrew wanted to be punished, to feel as if his sins were reconciled. But as he sat there, he realized that he didn't think that was possible. Sam had somehow forgiven him, but could he actually ever forgive himself? He let go of Sam's hands, realizing that he couldn't. He was an awful person. He didn't to love or be loved, he didn't deserve a younger brother like Luke, he didn't deserve happiness.
"Sam," Andrew whispered softly, his voice still hoarse from tears.
"Yes?" She said, looking up at him.
"I don't deserve this… I don't deserve your forgiveness." The words were painful to him, but he needed to say them.
Sam managed a smile, taking his hand in hers. "I never said that you did, Andrew. I just said that I was going to forgive you."
Andrew felt a sharp pain hit his heart. "I know… but still, I… can I tell you something?"
"What is it?"
"Before this, I was thinking about killing myself. When I think about suicide, I realize that it's such a big decision. You kill yourself and there's nothing left, you cease to exist, just like that. And if I were to do that, it would most certainly affect my family. And knowing now, that I was the one who killed you, it makes me feel so sad. I didn't take a gun and actually shoot you, but what I did was close enough. I made you commit suicide."
"Andrew, I believe that no one can ever be forced to do anything. Someone can be persuaded to do something, but they can't be forced. You didn't make me pull that trigger, Andrew," Sam said softly. She leaned back against the seat of the car, closing her eyes.
"You've made a lot of mistakes in your life, that much is apparent. You've hurt a lot of people, but you're not a bad person. You have recognized your mistakes and that's what matters, to me." She hesitated, before continuing.
"I don't think that there will ever be anything between us like there was before. I can't be with you after that. But I can be your friend, I promise that."
Andrew was willing to expect that. It was so much more then he had ever imagined, after everything that he had done. He placed his arms firmly around Sam, hugging her tightly.
Luke and Angela sat next to each other, leaning against a large Oak tree. They had decided to still let Andrew and Sam be. They needed to talk about a lot of things and get things cleared out of the air. It was only right for them to sit there and wait.
Luke realized something, as he was sitting there. There was no way he could ever have a proper relationship with Angela. He could want one, but she was a ghost. He could kiss her, touch her, and see her, but there would never be a place for an actual relationship. That hurt, a lot. She was right there, but never being with her, like other couples' relationships?
Perphaps, if Angela hadn't died, they wouldn't even be together. But he couldn't help wanting, he couldn't help wishing…
"What are you thinking about?" Angela asked, absentmindedly brushing away some hair from his forehead.
"I'm thinking about us… how we can never be like other couples…" His voice trailed off sadly. Luke took Angela's hand, holding onto it tightly.
Angela sighed. "Listen, Luke, I've probably experienced so much more with you in the past weeks, then I have with anyone. You're more of a man that anyone I've ever dated, anyone I've ever met. You're a real person, Luke. But, you're right, what you say is completely true." She got up from the ground, letting go of his hand quickly.
"And… I think, that we shouldn't be together anymore. I don't want you to submit yourself to a life, where you're with a ghost. You can never truly be happy. You can't introduce your friends and family to me. We can't go to places together, not without people thinking you're talking to yourself. And that… hurts to much. So I have to leave you." With those words, Angela planted a kiss on Luke's lips, and disappeared completely from his sight.
Luke was so shocked by her words, that he didn't even have a chance to react. He wasn't able to scream or reach out for her hand and grip onto it tightly. He wasn't able to protest, to say that it could work. She left. Just like that, no longer apart of his life. It was ironic, how a few weeks ago, if someone had told him that he'd be dating Angela Johnson, as a ghost – he would have called them crazy, and called up the nearest pysch ward. But now, if they asked about Angela, he'd tell them that they were over. That there was nothing between the two of them any more.
Maybe Luke would lie. He could say that he had never really had feelings for her. That he had just thought that it'd be fun to mess around with Angela Johnson, the ghost. But when they'd look at his pain stricken face, the tears forming under his eyes, the way his voice could barely say her name… then they'd know. That each moment he had spent with her, he had slowly fallen in love.
Author's Note: When I first started this chapter, I wasn't expecting to end it. I really figured that I'd have a few more chapters to go, at least. So I guess that means that I will start editing the previous chapters really soon. Maybe next week or so, since I really want to update Consumed by Feelings as much as I possibly can. Anways, thanks to anyone who has ever read this or reviewed it, offered suggestions, or given me any inspiration. I don't like much how I actually wrote this story and I'm planning to really take it apart, piece by piece, and make it a lot better.