'My demons come back to haunt me
This time, in human flesh
Accursed mother
Forsaken father
They know what they do
Just how to break me down
(What little is left, that is).
I could be perfect in everyway
Bow down before them like a slave
And they'd turn their eyes, blind as can be
To my abandoned tears
Deaf to my hollowed cries
Close their hearts to my secret pain.
Let it bleed, oh loveless god,
Let me know I'm still alive!
Hidden somewhere even I can't reach
Behind these walls
Beneath these shields
Let no one else see, uncaring god,
The way I've destroyed myself!
The mutilation accompanied by this wretched fear
I cannot take another day in this darkness
Plagued by shadowy nightmares;
MEMORY.
REMEMBERENCE.
INWARD DEATH.
Let him not feel, of miserable god,
How I've let him down again!
How I curse the very air in my lungs
And how my heart beats still.
Let him not touch the scars, of wavering god,
The new ones are so much worse!
It kills him every time,
Such beauty that screams at the sight
Of
My ever-broken body
Trembling, as I am slowly
Dying
Deserving of Hell and all it's glory of torture;
Funny how that feels like home.
Tears of brimstone, weep not for me,
Wonderous darling, say not goodbye,
Though my flesh scabs over in time
My soul was long gone
In the moment
He
Raised his voice."
5/25/2005 10:51pm