'My demons come back to haunt me

This time, in human flesh

Accursed mother

Forsaken father

They know what they do

Just how to break me down

(What little is left, that is).

I could be perfect in everyway

Bow down before them like a slave

And they'd turn their eyes, blind as can be

To my abandoned tears

Deaf to my hollowed cries

Close their hearts to my secret pain.

Let it bleed, oh loveless god,

Let me know I'm still alive!

Hidden somewhere even I can't reach

Behind these walls

Beneath these shields

Let no one else see, uncaring god,

The way I've destroyed myself!

The mutilation accompanied by this wretched fear

I cannot take another day in this darkness

Plagued by shadowy nightmares;

MEMORY.

REMEMBERENCE.

INWARD DEATH.

Let him not feel, of miserable god,

How I've let him down again!

How I curse the very air in my lungs

And how my heart beats still.

Let him not touch the scars, of wavering god,

The new ones are so much worse!

It kills him every time,

Such beauty that screams at the sight

Of

My ever-broken body

Trembling, as I am slowly

Dying

Deserving of Hell and all it's glory of torture;

Funny how that feels like home.

Tears of brimstone, weep not for me,

Wonderous darling, say not goodbye,

Though my flesh scabs over in time

My soul was long gone

In the moment

He

Raised his voice."

5/25/2005 10:51pm