It was everywhere, from the clothes they were wearing to the shadows that filled every corner. An air of subtle sadness filled the room, almost visible to the naked eye.

In the darkened booth, sadness was the last thing on anyone's mind. I looked around me, and saw the faces of the people I loved most, all smiling back at me. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Black Billie-Joe "Wake Me Up When September Ends" style haircut. Grass green eyes. A pale but otherwise healthy face wearing a trademark goofy grin. I looked at my own reflection, seeing an Emo boy who wasn't so much an Emo boy anymore. I had a new label.

Matt Harris - cancer survivor.

I had you going for a minute, didn't I? I'm sorry, I just like the drama sometimes. I never saw that morning because I fell asleep you see. Anyway, Michael was a match (we're half brothers, so no-one was really surprised) and the bone marrow transplant was a success.

Recovery was slow but steady. My strength and appetite returned in time. I put some weight on and yay! My hair grew back. It was shorter than ever, but Angel assured me that it was hot (granted I pay her to say that, but y'ah know, I like to believe her).

Four months on and I was sitting in a club with Angel, Fay, Dave, Michael and Jeff as we watched The Best Deceptions play a completely acoustic set. Michael watched his fiancé (it's a long story, and not mine to tell) with nothing short of pride. The night before had been the house warming party for Michael and Adam's new place, so we were all feeling rather frazzled.

Happiness isn't so elusive after all I guess. It just took a heroin addiction, death, break-ups and cancer for me to find it. I figure if I can survive cancer, I can survive anything.

I felt a pair of eyes watching me. I turned, and caught a glimpse of an auburn haired boy watching me, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He nodded at me, before fading into the darkness.

I turned back to face the stage, my thoughts drifting. My father and Deo never got their happy endings.


I might just manage it.

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.

The End

Big thanks go out to the following:

PunkRockPrincess429/IceByrd67/GreenEnvy/SKATENakedBlindReaper/unknown pleasures/golden one/BlackOleander/Ann Marie/pinkandblack/goodbye forever/Xenila Poe/Petronia H/Kateh/the tale of a broken heart/One Desire/stabbed-n-broken/annwolf/eve-maiden/Akia Blakemore/The Silence In Black And White/girl of death 14/A Perfect Sonnet/NirvanaChicas/emoxchick/Clar/Asylum/infractus-viscus/lklittle/Lady Fate/Infinite Abyss/E K Bradshaw/no1 huckleberry/Lady Kirsty Anne/Remus Junior/JuiceyJuice 1088/Maibe Josie/Aphrodides/Kristen/blondeonstilts/ DL Dziobia/Kamma 7292/Harajuku Girl/moondust/annchick1273/Emo Kitten/actress writer me/lilleo/killmeazure/Sugs/the-beautiful-tragedy/Jiggaboo/ RedRumMurder/dreaminginred/wilting-tears/It's all downhill from here/ KnifeBloodNightmare/Holly/lilfrog322/Emoxfreak/forsaken love/Misunderstood - AKA Lou xxx/firestater-666/pixiewings25/French Princesse/Emilie/ hideousxcarxwreck/The Almighty Knowers of All/darkfae808/Wargirl07/ash211/ durable/My Paper Kisses/Joey Potter/paperclips us/Fire Spiritess/Kat/Raffie/Kit/ You Bleed Lust/l0v3isavirus/madlyinluv/la la la la/lynn/Cleo Addams

Extra Special Thanks go to:

David McLean

Norma Birrell

Lauran Kelly

Lisa Taylor

David Maccie-D

Michael Hendry

The people listed above made this series and its spin-offs possible. These may just be stories, but to me they were a distraction, a reaction, a tool and a teacher. I cannot express in words how much the support of all of you has meant to me. You took a girl with an idea and the Internet and turned her into a writer.

"Be Yourself, Don't take anyone's shit and never let them take you alive..." - Gerard Way

Thank you all so very, very much.

Draven Valentine