How Can I Say Goodbye? By writerforever
Dedicated to Anne
It was cold and a light rain was falling as she stood in the concentration camp known as Bergen Belsen. The year was 1945 and liberation was rumored to be soon. The girl, who was about sixteen, had given up hope on ever being liberated. She had seen to much death, too much suffering to believe in anything good anymore.
"Will the sky ever be blue again?" she wondered aloud as she made her way to the barracks where her older sister, Margot, awaited her return. She was cold for she had removed her clothing because of the terrible itching from the lice that had been all over her body. Now just a ragged blanket was wrapped her. Her thin shoulder blades stuck out and she was ghostly pale. She had very little hair on her head for it had been shaven off at Auschwitz-Birkenau.
It was there at Auschwitz she had seen the last of her father and her boyfriend, Peter. She had been informed that most of the men that had arrived at Auschwitz the night she and her family had arrived had all been sent to the gas chambers. When this had reached the young girl she had been devastated. She had loved her papa very much and they had shared a special relationship. He had been her best friend.
"Oh Pim, how could they do that to you?" the girl said as tears filled her eyes.
Not only had she lost her father but she had lost her mother as well. She had left her mother behind at Auschwitz when she and her sister had been deported to Bergen Belsen. But she had been informed by a woman that had arrived in Bergen Belsen from Auschwitz that knew her mother, that her mother had been selected for execution.
All she had left was her sister, Margot. But she was worried for Margot was growing ill and was not able to work.
As she stepped inside the barracks she had to step over the women who were lying on the floor, some dead and some alive. There was not enough bunk beds for all the prisoners in the barracks so many were forced to sleep on the cold hard floor. Sickness and disease abounded in Bergen Belsen and already many had died. The young girl made her way to where her sister, Margot lay on a bunk. Margot's clothes, really they were just pieces of ragged cloth, hung loosely on her deathly thin body.
"Margot, I brought you some morsels that Hannah gave me," the girl said as she sat down and cradled her sister's head in her lap.
"I…don't think I can eat," Margot said closing her sunken eyes.
"You must eat," the girl said placing a morsel into Margot's mouth.
Margot tried to chew it but couldn't. She coughed and turned her head away.
"You must eat or you will die! How could I ever say goodbye to you? I have said goodbye to everyone else, you can't leave me!" the girl said gripping Margot's face in her cold hands as tears caressed her dirt stained and malnourished face.
But Margot did not hear her sister for she had drifted off to sleep. She was very ill and could not think or function very well.
The next day after the young girl had went out to work, she left Margot sleeping in the barracks. But that evening when she returned she could not find Margot.
"Margot? Margot where are you? You really shouldn't be…hiding from me," the girl said trying to find her sister in the barracks. Deep in her heart she knew, she knew that Margot had been taken but she could not let herself think that. So she continued to search the barracks.
"You won't find her in here. They took her outside," a woman said.
"Where?" the girl asked.
"Just go look at the pile of dead bodies," the woman said sighing.
The girl shook her head in protest not wanting to believe that her sister had died. But finally she managed to walk outside into the cold wind and to the pile of dead bodies that lay in a ditch. The bodies had been stripped of their clothing and lay naked in the cold. Their eyes were rolled back into their heads and their skin was a bluish color. The girl slid down into the ditch and began to search for her sister's body franticly. Finally she saw her sister's body laying on top. When she saw Margot's naked body lying there she could not move and her heart seemed to stop beating. Tears filled her eyes as she slowly reached out and touched her sister's cold face. Anger and frustration rushed over the girl and she began to scream. She climbed out of the ditch screaming and she ran. Her blanket fell from her body and she ran, naked, across the muddy ground until finally she fell. She lay in the cold mud and sobbed.
"I have nothing to live for!" she cried out.
"How can I say goodbye to them all? How can I say goodbye to Pim, mother, and Margot,….and Peter. How?" she cried.
The girl lay there for the rest of the evening and all night. That night as she lay there in the mud, stripped of everything, stripped of hope, tears, and the very clothes on her back, she stared up at the night sky. It was filled with stars and she smiled as she looked at the brightest star.
If only she could have known that her father was still alive perhaps she would have found the will to survive and live. If only she could have known that one day she would be one of the most famous people in the world. Perhaps if she could have known she would be the voice of millions, Anne Frank might have tried to live.
But when morning came she was dead. Her eyes were open and still looking upward at the gray sky. Two prisoners carried her frail body to the pile of dead bodies and it was there that they tossed her down into the ditch close to where her sister's body lay still.
Two weeks later Bergen Belsen was liberated.