my heart explodes.

a thrill that vibraters alongside of a queen of hearts. that slow motion disco beat and soon the words will be slow ; slurred ; rhythmic, but shallow. there is nothing but an unconstancy there.

back to friday nights spent alone. back to $4 dollar babysitting. back to ripping out the fashion pages and Chanel ads. back to headphones with vibrating songs. back the same old dull eyes.

black and white flashbacks like teh blasbulbs on the camera. you saw the past ; present ; the future through your closed eyelids. was this what death felt like? it was a charade.

without him you are nothing.