Epilogue: Spider's Fun

"You're an idiot," Twitch muttered darkly, letting Spider off onto a wall.

"Still be funnyyyy," Spider persisted with his high-pitched, always happily squealing voice.

"That's not the point." Twitch turned away from the wall and went to the phone.

"But it's true," Spider whined.


"So can I?"

"Eat your heart out."




Twitch rubbed his head against the newly forming headache and dialed a number he hadn't used in nearly two years. The voice on the other side was raspy and hollow sounding, and oddly dark and neutral.

"Who calls?" the voice demanded softly, echoingly.

"It's Twitch."

The voice was silent for a moment, then, "HEY! Dude, what's up?"

"Headache, thanks."

"Eh? Oh, sorry. So how's it goin'? Got a girl yet?"

"Mmm…maybe. But that's not why I called."

"Really? Well, neither of you are due to die, if that's what you want to know," the voice said casually.

"Sadly, I had to be sure. Spider wants to do something again."

"Ah. That explains it."

"He's baked up a few batches of cookies recently, if you want any."

"Hell yea! I'll come over later. How's that?"

"Fine. I'll be at my friend's house. That's where they are anyway."




"Ow…when you come, don't dress your normal style. Black cloak and scythe isn't exactly the normal fashion around here… and can you tell those sheep to stop terrifying Spider?"

"Eh…oh fine."

There was another moment of silence before either spoke again.

"Oh yeah, and Death?"


"It's not raining."


"Mwahahahaha," Spider laughed, rubbing his hands together evilly.

"Is that really necessary?" Twitch asked irritably.


"Yeah right, just don't get yourself killed; this may be your last opportunity against those two."

"Yeah yeah yeah. I'm going now. See ya!"

Spider crawled along the wall of the building, humming loudly and off key. He crawled through a window and into the darkness, searching for signs of the habitation he knew to be there. The first rooms were silent and empty, but eventually, he found a door with light leaking out the cracks, and silently and stealthily crawled under it and into a brilliantly lit room filled with gaudy glass ornaments and the scent of roasting chicken…

…and his prey.


And along the walls were mirrors, which made everything that much more fun.

Both his prey were sitting at a table, chatting about all sorts of crap Spider wasn't the least bit interested in, and eventually, it was enough that he had to stop humming and sing aloud, though it didn't really matter since no one could here him anyway.

He crawled under the huge table and up the leg, watching to make sure he was still unnoticed, then onto the table and behind a jug of something foul smelling.

He didn't have to wait long before one of his prey lifted the jug and found him clinging to the side.

And the chaos began. He was reflected in all the mirrors and glass, holding his front two legs up threateningly, cackling his head off, "Fear me, FEAR ME! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

And only much later, when he was back with Twitch, did his laughter finally die.

"It was great! Those two will be so HAPPY when we tell them!" he squealed delightfully, giggling.

Twitch rubbed his head again. "If they ever come back from the lake, maybe," he muttered.

"Maybe they're making babies," Spider suggested, then barely dodged Twitch's swinging fist. "It's what I would do!" he protested. Twitch only rolled his eyes and began to walk off.

"…and so would you and Alor—"

That time, Twitch didn't miss.


for anyone who's curious, Twitch and Spider are my comic book characters, which is why they're so weird...

it's so sad; this story is done...but i'm in the process of creating something else, and one day i may get up the nerve to post it.

sad really.