Breakdown

I'm a living dead girl-

Living without a pulse.

Once again it gets to me;

All my feelings of deadliness

So I go to the bathroom; it's the perfect place to hide

And it helps my feelings subside…

And breakdown.

I scream your name but it has no effect.

The door is shut, the lights are out

I'm screaming since it isn't enough to shout.

I slide down the wall

And crawl up in a tight ball.

Myself I can't seem to find

So I scream everything that comes to mind.

My head hurts but this feels so good,

Probably better that it should.

It's been quite awhile and my mind draws a blank;

I'm not sure what's left to say

I'm just there in a daze.

I sit and listen

And hear laughter from downstairs

Like nobody knows or even cares.

The reality of my surroundings sinks in

And a renewed loneliness in found within.

I ease out of the ball and sprawl to the floor;

Still tucked but lying down

And try to slow down my thoughts going 'round.

Then I start back up again

Only difference is I'm not in a rage

Just filled with loneliness, sadness, emptiness…

I draw in tighter as tears stream down my face

I've lost my grip and have fallen from grace.

A sudden draft flows over me sending chills up my spine

I don't understand how people can be so blind;

They think that everything is all just fine….

I'm shaking from that sudden chill

As eternal loneliness continues to fill

And a few more tears spill.

I can't release anything more;

I've let it all out.

I'm only a skeleton with skin

Nothing is left on the inside.

I've screamed until my voice gave out

Cried until my tears were dry

My insides began to unfold;

My life is spinning out of control.