Just A Bit Taller
I sometimes curse and bless the day I first met Jacob. He was the sort of person that did that to you. He was a bit like my Britney Spears CD; when no one was looking, I would roll up the windows and blare it in my car while singing along. But when I arrived at school, I would either shove it under my seat or in my glove compartment.
Yes, in a way, I did do that to him in the end. When I was with him, I treated him like I treated all my boyfriends. Smother him with cute words, give him kisses, hug him like there would be no tomorrow. But Jacob wasn't like the rest of my boyfriends. Not only would he let me do all the above to him; he would give me those things in return. He would hold me when I asked him, kiss me when I got that look in my eyes, and above all? He would even love me.
Jacob called me in the mornings, at times when he somehow knew I was just waking up. We talked for hours over the morning cartoons. We would giggle and howl with laughter at the characters and what they didlike little kids. But I loved those hours. We were like little kids; now that I think about it. We weren't into the whole sexually active thing like other couples. While other girlfriends were having sex or giving blow jobs,I was with Jacob laughing over Spongebob Squarepants. We didn't need the other stuff.
But he did have his downfalls. I didn't think he did; but others obviously thought so. They all called him immature, scrawny, said he needed to grow up, etc. It's what all the girls said. At least, what all the ones he had previously dated said. They all gave me reasons why they dumped him, or why it didn't work out. Yeah they missed him. But they moved on. They filled my head with their opinions and values about Jacob, pushing aside my own.
Then the guys came. Big, muscular, 'hot' ones. You see, Jacob was still stuck in the scrawny stage. All of my friends told me I could do better, that I could have any guy in the school. They didn't understand why I stuck with Jacob in the beginning. Notice how I said in the beginning. All of those words spoken by others got to me. Slowly, but eventually. I started to treat him wrongly. I treated him like my CD. When my 'friends' were around, I would ignore him; pretend that he was just some dork following me. I would act strange when others were with us.
But when we were alone, I acted like it was old times. As if I were doing nothing wrong. It killed me. But I couldn't stop myself. Everytime I thought about running to him and telling him I love him, my friends would always get to me. Their words would get me. Jacob started questioning me. He asked me why I was changing, why I wasn't happy. At first he was pleading, begging, like a puppy. Then he got demanding.
I snapped at him more than I should have. Got angry at him a lot for no reason. It was like I started a fight hoping it would end our relationships. I couldn't break up with him on my own. I just couldn't. There was still a tiny part of me not wanting to let this wonder go. I don't know how, but our last fight did it.
I screamed at him like I had never screamed at him before. I threw accusations, insults, and other cruel words. I said that I wanted to date a guy that was big and acted his age; not some little immature boy. I yelled that I had stopped the kid act, why couldn't he? I screamed that I wanted it to be over, that I wanted nothing more of him.
He only asked me one word. " Why?"
I didn't give him an explanation. Only lifted my head high in proud arrogance. " I grew up."
Pity filled his eyes and he gave me a sad shake of his head and walked away. " No. You only got taller."