I try to pinpoint laserlight this absence-induced tension
but it only makes me feel caught in your headlights
wild and desperate but rooted to inaction
and this constant state of at a distance,
of crossing paths but not pausing to be together
reverberates at an unpleasant pitchpoint in my mind
and spreads down to my heart until everything
about me seems keyed to respond to you.

but day after day passes us by
and I can not help but to ask myself
why I should endure so many hours without you
hours that I can never have back or change
and if I should choose to be without you,
why do I still linger in my heartspace
to think of you and what will not be?
always this unfinished essence
twining to my thoughts and vining into my moods
to draw away my attention to you.
you.