even when I try in simple conversation
to speak even passingly about this relation
I only go quiet and clasp-unclasp-twist my hands
stare at my fingers and my mind blanks
to past pages of our story, the journey I take
all my days and I carry you in the sleeve/pocket/patch
on my heart instead of high on the library shelf
as a tome of deepsmell and agepressed spring leaves
that still hint of the seasons rainstorms years over;
you should be shadowed dustdew pages out of grasp
from my unforgetful lust/love/longful reach
instead I look and look; it seems I still
wear you/us/our together shadows in my chest locked
under my rib cage and I feel your breath
in my breath when I put my hand to my heart.

Note: I don't know why everyone thinks I am trying to rhyme in this poem... only the first two linesdo andthat was chance...the lines come as they come. And as to questions that have been raised on the , I used that method because all of the words fit and I wanted the meaning each one of thembrings to be present.