Title: Ghost

Author: Lia (Unattainable Adrenaline)

Rating: R (I hope)

Warnings: Hehe... stuff. And alot of swearing. If you don't like smut either... then skip the end.

A/N: I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. If any of you think it's above the R rating (although, I don't think it is) tell me. Also, I tried really hard to get this to you in time! I even told my friend I couldn't visit her just so I could get this to you in time! So you had better enjoy, damnit! ;)


He wanted to die.

The pain in his head was like an explosion had gone off and this was the aftermath. The instant he had woken up, he had leaned right over and vomited in the trash can by Ryan's bed. He didn't give a damn where he was at or why, but he just puked his guts out until the only thing coming out of his mouth was a clear bile. He was pulled back up onto the bed on his back before he fell face first into the vomit. A cool hand was pressed to his forehead and his eyes opened feverishly to see Ryan's worried face above his.

"Conrad, are you okay?"

Ryan's voice split the rest of Conrad's barriers and he moaned painfully as he clutched his head. Even moving his hands made his stomach turn. He felt Ryan's weight shift off the mattress and get up to walk across the room. Ryan's curtains were shut, thankfully, or else Conrad's eyes would have, in his view, sizzled out. The brown-haired boy came back and edged one knee on the bed next to him and leaned down.

"Here, take this." Ryan whispered softly in consideration of Conrad's head and he opened his eyes again to see three little pills in the palm of Ryan's hand. A glass of water was on the nightstand beside Ryan and Conrad struggled to reach out and get the pills. Ryan noticed Conrad's trouble and leaned down to grasp his head and tilt it up so he could swallow. Conrad didn't even bother to ask what the pills were, but he guessed they were aspirin or something of the sort.

When he had swallowed them, which seemed to take an outrageous amount of effort, he collapsed back down on the bed, whimpering as he curled up into a ball.

"Oh, God… I'll never drink again…" He near-sobbed. Tiny, pitiful noises made their way out of his mouth and he heard Ryan chuckled softly as he leaned down.

He gently uncurled Conrad's body and placed his own next to it. He gingerly wrapped his arms around Conrad's waist and rested the pale boy's head to lay on the side of his neck. Conrad instantly re-curled himself around Ryan's body and hugged him close, inviting the warmth of the other.

"Why aren't you dying?" Conrad moaned against Ryan's shoulder when they had settled.

"Because, angel, I know when to stop drinking." Ryan chastened. "Was that the first time you've ever drank?" Conrad nodded and he heard Ryan chuckled softly. "Oh, poor baby…" He said it, not to make fun, but purely out of sympathy. He ran his hands up and down Conrad's back and massaged areas that were particularly tense.

Before long, Conrad's body shorted out and let him sink down… down… down…


When Conrad woke up, he felt a sense of relief when he found he could sit up without getting nausea. Ryan was gone when he had woken up and Conrad was a bit worried that he had left, but those fears were put to rest when Ryan walked into the room.

"Hey, angel, feeling better?"

"Yeah…" Conrad's voice was slightly congested and he coughed a couple of times to clear it up. "Urgh… It tastes like something died in my mouth."

Ryan laughed and replied, "Yeah, drinking tends to do that to you. Can you make it to the bathroom? I have an extra toothbrush you can use." Conrad nodded, he actually was feeling much better, and he got up out of the bed to follow Ryan.

Before he got to the door though, he happened to glance at the clock.


"Oh, no." He moaned. "My mum's gonna kill me!" Ryan too glanced at the clock and frowned.

"Shit. Did you tell her you were going out anywhere?" Ryan asked.

"No!" Conrad groaned. He looked around at the clothes scattered everywhere searching for his own and spotted them in a far corner. He was in the midst of picking them up when Ryan came over and took his arm, causing him to look up and pay attention.

"Wait a second," He said. "Why don't you brush your teeth and take a shower first and then I'll take you home?"

"But - "

"It's not going to matter much if you're a bit more late than you already are, now is it?" Ryan reasoned. "It'll just go easier if you're clean and," He added, "- don't smell like you fell into a vat of beer."

Conrad saw what he was trying to say and after a few moments of deliberation, nodded. "Okay."

Conrad followed Ryan into the bathroom and he showed the pale boy where everything was before he let himself out.

"And don't slip and fall, either!" He said just as he was shutting the door.

Conrad was left in the bathroom, his stomach still vaguely queasy and his head faintly hurting. He betted that he would get a full-on migraine later. The thought did not make him happy.

He walked over to the ducky-decorated shower curtain and pulled it back, figuring out the knobs to turn it on. He sat on the edge of the tub and put his head on his hands - he was still so tired. And he also knew he would have to deal with his mother when he got back to his house. He leaned back to check the temperature until it was warm enough and started undressing, throwing his clothes in the corner, not really caring where they landed. He turned the knob to start the shower and stepped under the spray.

It was nearly as relaxing as the day before, but this time he was so tired when he got out that his eyes were nearly drooping. His stomach was hurting again, but this time he figured he might be a bit hungry, although the very thought of food made him sick. He wrapped a towel around his waist after he had dried himself and walked out of the bathroom, shivering and in need of some clothes.

Ryan's door was open and he was laying face first on the bed, apparently asleep. His breathing was slow and even and as Conrad watched, his lips parted and his tongue darted out to lick his lips unconsciously.

"Ryan?" Conrad whispered, still clutching his towel around his waist. "Ryan, are you awake?" Ryan didn't respond when Conrad spoke and the pale boy walked closer to the bed. "Ryan?" He climbed onto the bed, mindful of the towel, and repeated Ryan's name. He still didn't move and Conrad got closer to him, bending down close to his ear. "Ryan, wake up." This time, Ryan stirred and groaned at being woken up.

"Go way…." He mumbled incoherently.

"Ryan, I ne-ED --!" Ryan had whipped around and bumped into Conrad, hooking his arm around his waist and flipping him over. He moved before Conrad could react and flung himself over the smaller boy. Conrad laid underneath him in shock as Ryan snuggled to his body. He was however reminded of his lack of clothing when Ryan moved his leg up and bent it over Conrad's thighs.

He gave a squeak and said, "Ryan, I don't have any clothes on!"

"Mmmmm… I hadn't noticed." Ryan mumbled as he snuggled closer.

"Ryan!" Conrad protested.

"Wha? Lemme alone…"

Conrad sighed exasperatedly. "FINE." He flung his hands down on Ryan, who didn't even flinch, instead taking it as an invitation to get closer.

" …… "

"… Ryan.. I have to get up and get dressed."

Ryan sighed and rolled off Conrad and onto the floor, swinging his legs down to catch himself. He walked over to the dresser across from the bed and jerked open some doors. He didn't look at Conrad or talk and Conrad was scared that he had made him mad.

"Hey… Ryan?" A grunt was his reply. "You -You're not mad at me, are you?" Conrad hated how timid his voice sounded.

Ryan turned around and looked at him oddly. "No, angel, why would I?" He asked curiously, walking over to the bed.

"Well… " Conrad said as Ryan stopped in front of him. "You just seemed mad and you weren't talking to me."

"Oh, baby, sorry, I just kinda zoned out there." Ryan's rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I'm definitely not mad at you." Ryan smiled down at him. It occurred to Conrad that Ryan used a lot of nicknames instead of his actual name, but he found that he liked that fact.


"Yeah, babe, I'm sure." Ryan grinned. "Now why don't you get dressed? It's almost 3:30 already."

Conrad groaned. "Is it really?"

Ryan nodded. "Sorry to say, man." Conrad sighed and got up, re-adjusting his towel and tying it.

"Hey, Ryan, do you have any clothes I could borrow?" Conrad asked after a minute of silence.

"Hm?" Ryan turned and acknowledged him. "Oh, yeah, sure. They'll be a little big on you though, I think I'm a few sizes bigger, and taller too."

"Oh, that's okay. I figured that." Conrad reassured him. Ryan bobbed his head vaguely in Conrad's direction and opened his closet door, despite that he had just opened his drawers for the same purpose. Conrad watched Ryan's black t-shirt ride up his stomach as he reached up on the top shelf, enjoying the sight of the cream-coloured flesh. Ryan pulled down a stack of t-shirts, all in various shades of black, and handed one of the smaller ones to Conrad.

"Here, this should fit you," Ryan said a bit distracted as he looked for pants. Conrad suddenly remembered that he did indeed have clothes there from the day before, but something stopped him from saying anything, because, quite honestly, if Conrad were to admit it to himself, he wanted to wear Ryan's clothes. Ryan, after all, had worn them.

While Conrad hadn't been paying attention, Ryan had found a pair of black (naturally) pants. They were cut in a simple flair, and though they did hug a bit at the top, Conrad found he didn't much mind. He didn't expect Ryan to supply underwear, just because, well, people didn't do that, and he figured he'd just have to wear the boxers he had come over there with. Although the idea didn't appeal to Conrad, he didn't see much choice, so after Ryan handed him the pants, he turned around with a mumbled thanks and walked back into the bathroom.

Conrad didn't hesitate to put on the clothes and hurried through the process of getting dressed as he thought of how late he really was. He just hoped his mother wasn't… in one of her "moods". He gulped as he realised the full extent of what he had done. Gone off without telling anyone and gotten knackered, slept with Ryan, woken up with a hangover and gone back to sleep… jeez, time just flies.

Conrad all but ran out of the bathroom as his conscience continued to pester him, and he worried about how much his mother had worried. Ryan caught him by the arm just before he went down the stairs as he ran out into the hall.

"Hey, hey, why don't I give you a ride? Get you home quicker." Ryan said as he saw the other boy's hurried state. Conrad didn't waste time talking and answered him with a nod. Ryan nodded back, and said, "Okay, but let me get my shoes first." He went back in his room and grabbed his sneakers and shoved them on as he hopped out of his door. "Alright, ready to go." He grabbed his car keys from the dresser and they both walked down the stairs.


It didn't take too long to get back to Conrad's house, but the albino boy was so worried by the time they got there. Ryan noticed his agitation and frowned, but didn't say anything.

As soon as they stopped in front of the white house, Conrad moved to open the door, but Ryan put his hand on Conrad's arm and stopped him. Conrad looked back at him in question and Ryan smiled.

"Hey, come here." He said. Conrad, if anything, got more confused, but scooted closer anyway. Ryan just smiled down at him and grabbed him by the waist, nearly making Conrad topple into the brunette's lap as Ryan pulled him into a tight hug. "Don't be a stranger, okay?" Ryan whispered and Conrad nodded subconsciously before locking his arms around Ryan's shoulders. It was a tender moment, though Conrad didn't know why, and they just stayed like that for a few hassle-free minutes before Conrad regretfully broke the embrace and sat back. He turned to the door and opened the handle.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" Conrad said just before he got out of the seat. Ryan nodded and said good-bye as Conrad shut the door.


Conrad didn't pay attention to Ryan as he focused on the time-bomb that was sure to go off. He didn't think his mum would do anything but yell, but he didn't want to be grounded either. He steeled himself just before he opened the door and set his hand on the silver door knob. Finally, he turned the knob and stepped inside.

The first thing he noticed was that it was pretty quiet and that most of the lights were out, but when Conrad tip-toed across the foyer, the silence was broken by the sound of yelling.

"You little bastard! Where the hell have you been?" His mother screamed. He opened his mouth to explain, but was cut off. "No! Don't even bother, I don't give a shit. What were you out doing though? I'll bet I know! Out doing drugs and drinking - you were probably fucking someone too!" Conrad tried to interrupt her, but it was no use, she was too mad. It scared Conrad that she was this mad, he had never seen her so furious. He tried tuning her out like he did most of the time when she got mad, but it didn't work as she went on. "I saw that bastard fuck sitting in the car you were in! You were with him, weren't you? Weren't you?! God, do I have a faggot slut living under my roof?!" Conrad stepped back as if stung and he felt like his mother had just torn something out of him. He honestly felt scared that she would hurt him, even though he was an inch or so taller than her 5"6' frame. But now… now, she had really hurt him.

He didn't know when he did it, but somehow he was suddenly screaming back at her, pissed off beyond anything he had ever felt, so much so that red dots swam in his vision.

"You know what, Mother? I don't think I quite care what you think! You call me a slut when you're the one who fucked so many guys you didn't know which one fathered me in the first place! How the hell could anyone get anymore goddamned hypocritical?!" Conrad screamed back at her, scorching and straining his throat muscles and his lungs gasped for air. His mother stared back at him shocked, her mouth wide open, and it gave Conrad a sense of perverse pleasure that he could finally get this out, even as fucked up as it was. He didn't pause to let her recuperate, instead taking a deep breath and charging on. "And, you know what, maybe I am a slut! Hell, maybe I'm a crackhead too! But fuck, you're not around enough to notice anyway! All you do is come home, sleep, go to work, and go out drinking! I see you like once a week!" He was cut off from his rant as his mother spoke up, but he quickly retook his place.

"Now, see here, young man - "

"No! You see here, Mother! I don't know what the fuck - "

"I will NOT have my son talking to me like this in my own house! First you pull away this year, then you leave without telling me, then you come home with some boy looking like a punk! And take out those contacts, they look ridiculous!" Conrad had forgotten that he still had the contacts in, but now he was glad he had left them on - they served to piss her off even more.

"Fuck you, Mother. FUCK. YOU." Conrad snarled. "I goddamn HATE YOU!" Everything happened in rapid secession as he screamed out in pure rage. He felt an anger-fuelled fist punch his face, saw stars explode in his vision. He didn't do anything, simply rocked back as the force of the hand tore his skin and he looked down to see bright blossoming blood stains materialising on his shirt. He dimly heard the front door slam open, saw it bounce off the wall, surely leaving a dent in the white plaster.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM!" He heard a familiar voice scream at his mother, who didn't have enough brainpower to respond as she stood shocked, appalled at what she had just done to her own son. Conrad's mind was fuzzy, and astonished. His mother had hit him. He couldn't believe it. She hit him.

He came back to the present to hear Ryan screaming his head off at his mother, who seemed to be shrinking smaller by the second.

"Goddamn you! Don't you ever - EVER FUCKING TOUCH HIM AGAIN! Do you understand me?! If you ever hurt him again, I'll - "


Conrad ran to the brunette, calling his name, and he saw the rage simmer as Ryan looked to him. It was almost scary how enraged the usually good-tempered teen was, but Ryan showed only concern on Conrad's part as he stopped Conrad and took his chin in his hand.

"Baby, are you - "

"Ryan! Please don't yell at my mother! She's not usually like this! It's my fault!" Conrad felt the blood gushing down the lower half of his face of his face as he said this, but he ignored the coppery taste of blood as it got into his mouth and the shock of pain as he begged Ryan. "Please, Ryan, just go home. It's okay. I'm alright."

"The bloody fuck you're alright! I'm not leaving without you." Ryan argued. His hand was still on Conrad's chin and it was a slick shiny red. He moved his other hand up to cup Conrad's face, and succeeded in splattering blood all over that one too. "I'm. Not. Leaving. You."

Conrad knew there was no point in arguing with Ryan once he had made up his mind, but his rational mind didn't want to leave his mum at that point.

"Ryan, I can't. Please, I can't. Just go." Conrad pleaded.

"No." Ryan shook his head.

"Ryan! I can't! Damnit, this doesn't concern you! Just go!" Conrad was nearly screaming at Ryan like he had before at his mother.

Ryan didn't move an inch, nor change his facial expression. It was like hitting a brick wall, nothing got through. Conrad almost didn't know his mother, whom he was defending so readily, was still in the room, watching the interaction between her son and the boy who had yelled at her with wide, glassy eyes. She didn't know what to think.

"Conrad, you're coming with me!" Ryan yelled, latching onto Conrad's struggling form as he tried to wriggle out of his grasp. Ryan wasn't letting go though. He half-carried, half-dragged the smaller boy all the way out to his car before dumping him into the passenger seat. Conrad moved to open the door and run out, but Ryan caught him before he moved any farther. Conrad wrestled against Ryan and ended up hitting his head off the window, causing a loud thunk that ceased his struggles.

"Why are you doing this?!" He yelled out as Ryan pinned him on the seat. His eyes were stinging with tears of frustration and his face was as hot as burning coals. "What the fuck - "

"Conrad, SHUT UP!" Ryan finally screamed.

The next thing he knew, Ryan's lips were sealed on his own, bruising and biting with a fevered passion. Their teeth clunked together and Conrad tasted more blood as Ryan caught his lip between his teeth. The brunette's tongue forced entrance into Conrad's mouth and wrestled his tongue in a fierce dance in which both won. Ryan forced his hand down Conrad's pants despite the other boy bucking to get him off, which just served to more excite him. Conrad broke off to moan as he felt the other boy's hand on him, stroking hard with abandon.

"Oh, God, Ryan! Oh, fuck… " Conrad groaned, growing even more hard as he felt Ryan's erection against his leg. Ryan growled low in his throat, predatorily biting his mark on Conrad's neck.

"Ryan… Ryan, wait!" Conrad yelled breathlessly. He pushed the brunette off, who tried to push him back down, but the albino resisted. "Wait, Ryan, we can't fuck in a car."

Ryan growled, thinking they perfectly well could, but backed off anyway. Needless to say, he started the car and peeled out of there.

Conrad couldn't help aching as he took in Ryan's dishevelled appearance and the irate expression on his face, hurrying to get back. He also couldn't help his hand from slipping into Ryan's pants. He couldn't help it as his hand curled around Ryan and he couldn't help as his hand started moving. Just like Ryan couldn't help as he moaned, struggling to both drive the car and enjoy the feeling at the same time.

Conrad slipped his hand back out as he saw the car starting to swerve dangerously, giving Ryan some leeway to drive. When they finally did reach Ryan's house, which seemed to take a ridiculously long amount of time, they both bolted up the stairs, eager to feel each other fully.

When Conrad and Ryan collapsed on his bed and he felt Ryan's tongue… it was like nothing he had ever expected it to feel like. It was rough and hard and animalistic, not the fairytale love that storybooks made it out to be. It blurred his reality with his dreams and got him higher than any drug could possibly do. They didn't have time to taste each other's bodies, just rode it out in a delirious red haze. Ryan licked the blood off Conrad's face and the sweat off his neck. It was quick and brutal, not sweet and time-sparing. It was real. It was not beautiful. It was pure, basic, wild, violent, cruel sex.


A/N: Hehehe… I couldn't help it. Sorry for the smut…If this is above the R rating, please tell me so I can fix it.