Bullseye!Part 1

The three kingdoms that make up Bulsye possess a peculiar topography. Bypassing the detail that all three are flat and mountainless, the kingdoms are perfectly round at their edges—edges their circular forms do not possess. Nested in the middle, the kingdom of Raeun (a large circle of land) has a diameter approximately one hundred miles long. This means, quite simply, that Raeun enjoys an area of about 7,854 square miles. It is surrounded in its circular entirety by a wall, which measures about 314.15 miles.

Raeun is a relatively dull and uninteresting kingdom, which likes to maintain a constant political neutrality. The neutrality vividly affects the daily life of Raeun's inhabitants, or rather, it keeps the daily life from getting too exciting. The Raeunians continuously live a plain, simple, and low-key life, just as their forefathers did before them. Instead of living life to the fullest, Raeunians live life to the dullest, barest minimum.

Encircling Raeun, the kingdom of Nicitia is a large circular ring. From above, it looks like a large green donut or one of those flying frisbees with a hole in the middle. The hole, of course, is Raeun. Nicitia has a width of about 150 miles and has an outer wall that measures about 471.24 miles along. The net area of Nicitia is…oh geez…one second. 150 miles wide plus 50 for Raeun, multiplied by pie(?)…oh, never mind…

Nicitia is a decently sized country with civil issues constantly on its mind. The monarchial government, namely the King, constantly worries over the disposition of its subjects, its servant, and its cattle. The citizens strive to achieve, daily, meaningful goals. Even the lowest of Nicitian thieves gives back to society, which is in a way, a society of Robin Hoods and Little Johns. The army of Nicitia is grand, honorable and generally good tempered all around. The endless border skirmishes serve only to protect Nicitia.

A third kingdom composes the outer edge of Bulsye. This malevolent kingdom is known as Ivelia. Although the exact measurements are trivial and unnecessary details, understanding that Ivelia is a strip of land bordered by a large wall and circling Nicitia is vital. The Ivelians sustain a nasty diplomatic temperament and are in general awfully lousy folk. And since Ivelia is on the outside of Bulsye neither the Nicitians or the Raeunians are able to migrate away from Bulsye and the horrific Ivelians.

At this point in the narrative, several questions should be floating through every reader's brain. These questions are hereby included for those readers who are too darn thickheaded for their own good: Why is one kingdom evil, one neutral, and one good? Why is the place built the way it is? Who would construct so many walls, anyway? And why is this place built like a giant dart board?

Now, although some of these questions should remain unanswered to inspire a sense of mystery, every single question will be answered in just a couple paragraphs. So hang in tight as we take a moment to introduce the main character of this entire spectactle.

His name is Leo and he's the king of Nicitia, the middle kingdom of Bulsye. His kind eyes silhouette a kind nose which droops gently over a kind mouth which bobbles on top of a kind chin which is attached to a kind torso which…etc. Yes, the king is very pleasant and kind-hearted. He loves his subjects as a King should, each shepherd and merchant and soldier.

And he cherishes his subjects' children too, which is why at this moment, he is telling them of a great legend. The legend of how Bulsye came to be.

"Okay," he says, motioning with his hands and beaming brightly, "it all began before Bulsye was created, when three gods were having an argument of sorts. One god was evil, one god was good, and one god was neutral. Now then, they decided they would have a sort of cosmic darts game. However, when you're a deity and everything is boring you need something to stay interested. Something different.

"So the gods decided on this; they would construct a world with three unique kingdoms and for each dart that landed in a kingdom, a soul with that god's disposition would be added. In other words, every time, let's say for example, the Evil God threw a dart, in whatever kingdom the dart landed there would be one more evil soul. And for the Good God, one good soul. And one neutral soul for the Neutral God.

"So, the gods created the dart board, and they made it large and round and flat, and they built huge stone walls to separate each segment. And then they began their game of cosmic darts. As it turned out, the Neutral God was the best out of all three, so every single dart of his plopped into the prestigious center region. And all the Neutral Souls were distributed there in the land now called, Raeun.

"And the Good God was next best. His darts tended to plop into the middle segment, our kingdom of Nicitia. And, of course, the Evil God was the worst because evil never wins, after all. So, the Evil God's darts all fell into the outer region of Ivelia. It was a marvelous victory for the forces of Neutrality and Good."

"But your majesty," one of the gathered children asked politely, "can't one of the darts have gone out into another region? Maybe the forces of good got a bull's eye."

"Now, now," the king replied, smiling broadly, "that's not the way the legend goes. Of course, you never know with gods. Surely, the forces of good did get a bull's eye. And the God was probably overjoyed at the time. I'm sure at that moment, the God shouted out 'Bull's eye!' and all of the grass grew greener, the skies cleared up, and for miles and miles you could hear an angelic song."

The young peasant raised his voice once again, "Really?"

"Of course," King Leo assured him resolutely.

What Leo does not know is that he is precisely correct. The forces of good did get a bull's eye. And the Good God was overjoyed at the time. And the God did shout out a mighty 'Bull's eye!' and all of the grass did grow greener, the skies did clear up, and for miles and miles you could hear an angelic song. The one detail that Leo missed, however, was the scalding scent of B.O. that streamed from the Good God onto the earth.

At this particular moment, the Good God's one Bull's Eye is leaving her birthplace of Raeun and is heading towards King Leo's palace. She has just passed through the wall and will arrive at the King's court in a few hours. King Leo doesn't know of this or suspect it; why would he? In fact, he knows just about as much as you do, which is why this is the perfect place to end the first segment of "Bullseye!" It builds mystery and suspense, which make up for the earlier terrible plot spoiler. Maybe it'll make the plot spoiler into a pot boiler. It just might.

Anotherchapter coming soon (in about three weeks) when I return from camp.