Retaliation with a twist
If someone calls you weird you say...
"weird like a donkey what was a mum what then got shotted cause it was a blue bird who just though it was a donkey that was a mum that got shotted that thought it was crab wifout any legs so there and I told him to tell you i told you so that blubirds are donkeys that are just misunderstood and its not there fault their legs abandonded them and look my hat is pertty weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
If they have not abandonded you in disgust they will most probably be stunned into motionlessness and you can crack em one right in the head
Then you go for the knee in the ribs
Note: If adversary has 'chums' with him
a )stun them too
b) run really quickly
c) apologise, then kick them in the shins
d) Pull on their nose and say "Got your nose" giggle maniaclly and then sprint off doing cartwheels
e) Place an egg timer in the nose and when it 'tings' poke them with a big stick
f) create an elaborate maze with killer crabs and evil panda lords and right in front of the finish have a big bloody sharp thing and lots of alien executers
-Courtsey of Pacman
Note: Although the author was an escaped mental patient, you can trust the authenticity of this document (as long as you do not sue)