Is this what it was like for you?

The counselling appointments

The anxiety filled moments

Pondering the lies you had to say

To protect everyone from who you really are

Only now, months later

Can I sympathise with how you felt

The need to hide, locked away

So they never knew how you were

Denying to yourself that there's a problem

Pulling down on your sleeves

So no one knows what you did last night

Telling the psych it's been three months

When it hasn't even been three hours yet

Pretending your self-esteem is rising

While it's plunging to new depths

Pushing those you love away

Because you don't want them to see you like this

Holding yourself tightly, tears falling

You wonder what life was like

Before razorblades became your best friend

Counting down the minutes

Until you feel it's sweet embrace

Wishing death would fall upon you

Is this what it was like for you?

It's the hell I'm experiencing now