The relationship between my father and I are always distant and serious. I was never his favourite for my biggest mistake was that I'm a girl. There was never a time that we both have a sincere laughter with each other and we are total strangers towards each other. My anger towards him is quite deep yet there are times I pity to see him when he was in his deepest sorrows of life. My messages to him are always too serious yet sincere from the heart, and my mother once said that it is a dangerous thing. So here I wrote my message to him...what comes from my heart. Probably this year I'm a little soft in this message to him.

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A Happy 56th Birthday and a Happy Father's Day Message to Dad

Dearest Dad,

Another year passes by and before we realize it, we have aged another year. Every year I seem to give dad a little heart of poetry, but I guess in a while it would probably be a somnolent to dad or in a need of something different this time. So, allow me to give my opinion about this life and the challenges that we face in this reality.

I could say that we are not perfect. None of us are. But we try our hardest at least to create a 'sculpture' symbolically to its very best. We don't have to be an artist to visualize how to make a 'sculpture' to make it beautiful, but we could be ourselves to create something new like for example, dad had visualized that the New Malaysian Who's Who book will come out beautiful soon. And why is that? Why is the confidence? It is because dad has put much effort in it day and night, to bring out this book. Because of that determination, the result will come out greatly.

What I'm trying to say is to never give up hope. Reality could be such a 'bite on the neck' at times and we drown to our sorrows deeply. I know how that feels when I felt myself down and small. I feel scared and feel blameworthy for everything I do. I cried my heart out a lot because it was too unbearable. Even honestly most times people try to help me; I seem to run away because it's too hurt to tolerate until I felt cornered. But then, not long ago, I went somewhere far away to find myself again. To find the confidence in me, to change something in me and to find the peace in me. It was fun, painful yet educational the feeling that I felt. And as I came back to reality, my home and the hardship that I have to go through, I realized it becomes at least bearable slowly and I know that I can do it if I allow myself to tolerate it.

And so I would just like to say, I guess I understand some parts of what dad had gone through these recent years. I sincerely apologize of my behavior. Never give up hope and be confident of what you do. As long it is a good deed no matter what you do, there will be a great reward in the end. Find peace within you and you'll be free.

Have a great day ahead of you.