Keeping My Secret

If I can't find the strength to tell you

I can't count on you to notice.

These thoughts all start to contradict me

And I can't decide on what I'm thinking.

I cannot keep this secret longer,

But I find myself just staying silent.

"One more day! One more day!"

I start saying softly.

"One more day! One more day!"

Perhaps you do not need to know yet.

I'm screaming right into my pillows,

Expecting you to hear my cry.

I know that I'm not being fair,

But I feel like I will die.

I'm angry at myself because

I'm too weak to let it out.

But I'm afraid you'll start to hate me

Because I've lied to you so long.

This fear consumes me, holds me down,

It stops me from getting free.

So until I break these bonds,

Please keep waiting for me.