Falling For You
I have nothing to give…
I have so much
to lose here in this lonely place,
Tangled up in your embrace,
there's nothing I'd like better than
"Fear" by Sarah McLachlan
"How is it possible that you don't have any freckles?" Breanna murmured, sighing as she leaned over the very scantily clad boy sprawled out beside her. Running her fingers lazily up and down the warm, smooth skin of his back, she grinned when her touch elicited a shiver and a groan.
"I don't know, Breanna," Devon mumbled, his voice slightly muffled due to the fact that he was currently lying face down on a pillow. "I just don't."
"But that's so strange," she protested. "Everyone has freckles."
"Are you calling me strange?"
Breanna giggled and settled herself snugly at his side. "I would never, ever do that."
With a skeptical grunt, Devon snaked an arm around her waist and traded the pillow for the crook of her neck. "Uh-huh..."
wake up in the morning,
Put on my face…
The one that's gonna get me,
Through another day…
Doesn't really matter,
How I feel inside…
'Cause life is like a game sometimes…
Toying with a sweat-dampened lock of his hair, Breanna grinned and rested back on the pillows. This was the time spent with him that she loved the most—right after sex when he was content to simply lie around and hold her. It was there within his arms that she liked to pretend they were just a normal couple—one that didn't have to hide and sneak around. It was an improbable dream, she knew, but one she couldn't quite stop hoping for…
Picking his head up a little, Devon was startled to see what looked suspiciously like an expression of longing on Breanna's face. "Whatcha' thinkin' about, Bre?"
then you came around me,
The walls just disappeared…
Nothing to surround me,
And keep me from my fears…
See how I've opened up?
Oh, you've made me trust…
Pressing a quick kiss to his lips, Breanna murmured, "Nothing really… just daydreaming."
Avoiding his curious eyes, Breanna shrugged and continued to play with his hair. "I don't want to say."
Propping himself up on an elbow so he was hovering above her, Devon grasped her chin gently and forced her to look at him. "Why not?"
"Because you'll just say I'm being silly."
"No, I won't. Tell me."
"'Promise not to laugh?"
Devon placed his hand over his heart and with mock sincerity said, "I swear I won't laugh."
I've never felt like this before…
Does it show?
You see right through me,
And I can't hide…
And it feels so right…
"Alright… if you really must know, I was thinking about how when I was little, I used to insist the plural of 'moose' was… well, 'meese.'
He stared at her for a second and then said, "Thought? Are you sure you don't still think it should be 'meese'?"
"No… of course not…"
Devon threw his head back and laughed, wincing a bit when Breanna slapped his bare chest. "Ow! Hey!"
"You promised not to laugh!" Breanna pouted, though secretly relieved she'd been able to successfully mask her real concerns behind the guise of being whimsical.
trying to remember,
Why I was afraid…
To be myself and let the
Covers fall away…
I guess I never had someone like you…
To help me, to help me fit,
In my skin…
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… Your thought process just amuses me… I mean, c'mon, 'meese?' That's ridiculous!"
"No, it's not! The plural for 'goose' is 'geese,' so how come 'moose' can't be 'meese?'" Breanna objected insistently.
"Are you serious? Because 'meese' sounds stupid, that's why!"
"Are you calling me stupid?!"
Too amused to continue arguing, Devon just held up his hands in defeat and laid back down. "Sometimes… I don't know what I'd do without you," he chuckled.
felt like this before…
Does it show?
You see right through me,
And I can't hide…
And it feels so right…
It took a second for his words to sink in, but when they did, Breanna's feigned pout quickly dissolved into a blank expression of shock. "What did you say?" she asked, her voice only faintly above a whisper.
Puzzled, Devon shrugged. "I said, sometimes I don't know what to do with you."
Breanna shook her head slowly. "That's not what you said, Devon."
"No, it's not. You said that sometimes you wondered what you'd do without me," Breanna told him, a hesitant smile inching its way to her lips.
"I… don't know why I said that," he muttered, running his fingers anxiously through his hair and avoiding her probing, hopeful eyes by pretending to be very interested in the nail on his left pinky finger.
Crawling closer to the point where she was practically sitting in his lap, Breanna put her lips to his ear and whispered, "Did you mean it?"
Oh, oh yeah…
Does it show?
Yeah, I'm naked…
Pulling back so their eyes met, Devon saw something in that moment that urgently made him want to tell her the truth. About everything. His feelings, his past… all the things he'd kept hidden for as long as he could remember. He was tired of lying—tired of hiding. She would understand, wouldn't she? She wouldn't leave him, not Breanna. He could count on her.
He could be with her.
"Devon? Did you?" she asked again, her tone pleading. "Please… please tell me. You can trust me."
Cupping her cheek in his palm, Devon smiled tentatively and asked, "Can I?"
naked around you…
And I can't hide…
You're gonna see right through, baby…
Covering his hand with her own, Breanna nodded and murmured, "Do you even have to ask? God…" she sighed, "don't you know by now that I lov--"
The doorbell rang then, cutting her off and acting as the equivalent of a bucket of ice water on the mood previously enveloping them. Pulling his hand back as if afraid her touch might burn him, Devon's startled expression spoke volumes. He hadn't meant to slip up like that, and who knew how long it'd be before he'd do it again. She'd had her moment to tell him she loved him… and lost it.
'Augh…' she thought to herself, watching as Devon studiously ignored her while pulling a shirt over his head. 'I don't think I've ever hated the sound of a doorbell more than I do right now.'
"Are you expecting someone, Devon?"
"No," he muttered. "Stay here… I'll be right back." Hitching his pants up as left the room, Devon shut the door and jogged down the stairs.
'Who the hell is here?' he wondered to himself, not sure whether to be irritated or relieved at the interruption.
'I don't know... and that's the least of your worries, dontcha' think? Do you realize how close you came to telling her everything?'
'Shut up. I don't wanna talk about it.'
'Yeah, maybe if you just pretend nothing happened, Breanna will forget all about it…'
'Sounds like a plan to me.'
'You're an idiot.'
'Takes one to know one'
There was a pause and then, 'Stop talking to yourself and answer the door, genius.'
With a frown, Devon strode across the plush carpet in the entrance hall and flung the door open. To say he was surprised at who stood on his front stoop… well, that would've been a vast understatement.
With a little wave, the other boy smiled and stared pointedly at Devon's disheveled appearance. "Hey, man. Sorry to stop by without calling, but I never got your cell number and I was in the neighborhood, so... Did I wake you up or something?"
"Uh…" Devon glanced down at his mussed clothing and winced. "Yeah, I'm not feeling well, so I was lying down… What are you doing here, Brent?"
"Oh, I just stopped by to run an idea past you. Have a minute?"
Devon shifted uneasily from foot to foot and looked over his shoulder. 'Shit. I can't invite him in…What if Breanna comes looking for me?'
'True, but he's gonna think you're retarded if you don't. You can't do anything to bring attention to yourself, Devon.'
'Son of a bitch…'
'And it's not like you can say, "Yeah…can't really talk right now, busy screwing your girlfriend upstairs. Can we reschedule… say in a couple hours or so?"
"Sure, come on in." Standing aside so Brent could walk past him into the house, he said a silent prayer that Breanna would do as he told her to and stay in his room.
Leading him into the kitchen, Devon motioned to the table and the two rather nervous looking young men sat down. There was silence for a few moments and then Brent spoke.
"Alright, I guess I'll just get right to it. I need to ask you a favor, Devon."
Devon raised his eyebrow in question and asked, "What kind of favor?"
Brent leaned forward in his chair and propped his elbows on the table top. "You know my girlfriend, Breanna, right?"
It took all of his willpower not to burst out laughing in that moment—and not because it was funny… no, far from it, actually. Devon actually almost felt sorry for the guy.
'Holy hell…if this poor schmuck only knew just how well I know his girlfriend…'
'Well, if he did, I doubt he'd be sitting here asking you for a favor, that's for damn sure.'
"Yeah, I know her. Not well, but we've talked a couple times," he lied smoothly. "Why?"
"She and I…" Brent hesitated for a second, and then continued, "Well, we've been dating for a long time now, and I have a feeling she might be getting bored with me or something. Our relationship just isn't what it used to be, know what I mean?"
Brent chuckled and rubbed his forehead. "No, of course you don't. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this." He shrugged. "I guess it's true what people say about it being easy to talk to strangers."
Devon attempted a half-hearted smiled and muttered, "I guess so."
His statement was followed by an uncomfortable silence in which Devon took the opportunity to try and sort out his thoughts, and Brent simply stared at his hands in embarrassment.
'Could this be any more awkward?' he groaned internally.
'Hey, count your blessings, Casanova. At least Breanna hasn't wandered her cute little ass down here to find you yet.'
'Yet' being the key word. I need to get him outta here fast.'
Devon snickered quietly and shook his head. 'True 'dat? Been watching BET again, have we?'
'It's not my fault you aren't 'down wit' it.'
'Oh, for the love of…can we please get back to the crisis at hand?'
'Yeah, yeah, yeah…Just listen to what he has to say and agree to the favor. Though, I can't imagine what is he wants you to do…'
Devon cleared his throat to break the silence and fidgeted restlessly in his chair. "Uh… so, what's this favor you wanted to ask me?"
"Oh, right. The favor," Brent replied. "This might sound strange, but I was actually wondering if you'd be interested in double dating with Breanna and I."
"Double… dating…?" he repeated slowly, hoping maybe he'd somehow misheard him, or that perhaps he'd unknowingly slipped into an alternate dimension where the two of them were good friends.
"Yup," Brent nodded affirmatively. "And you wouldn't even have to worry about finding a date. I've got one all lined up for you."
"Really? And who's that?" Devon asked weakly, dreading his answer, but at the same time intensely curious as to who Brent had picked for him.
"Cassandra Prescott. You know her, right?"
"Well," he began, rather relieved that he didn't have to lie for once, "I know she's Breanna's best friend, but we've never really spoken."
Brent chuckled. "That's a shame, really. She's a very interesting girl. I think you two would get along really well."
"Oh, yeah? How so?"
"Well, she's a great conversationalist. And really smart, too. Not at all what she seems like on the surface," Brent replied, a small smile curving his lips. "Around her, you never feel shy, or left out. 'Know how it's like that with some people? She's funny, and nice, and sweet..." he paused for a second, his eyes taking on the glazed look of someone deep in thought. "And her smile…"
Devon raised an eyebrow and nodded questioningly in his companion's direction. "Are you sure you don't wanna date her?"
Brent shook his head and frowned in confusion. "No… why? What do you mean?"
With a shake of his head, Devon just smiled and said, "Never mind. She sounds like a great girl; I guess I wouldn't mind going on a couple dates with her."
"Really? That's awesome, man! I owe you big time!" Brent exclaimed happily. Pushing away from the table, he stood up and crossed the distance to where Devon sat. "Seriously, thanks. You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for me."
"Uh…You're welcome, but--"
"Anyway, I gotta get going," Brent said, cutting off Devon's response as he pushed his sleeve up to look at his watch. "Bre and I are supposed to be going out somewhere tonight. Let me get your cell phone number, and I'll call you whenever I figure out what's going on with everyone else's schedules."
Five minutes later, after the exchange of phone numbers, Devon was once again standing on his front stoop staring at the retreating back of a man who should've never stepped foot in his house.
'And speaking of…'
"Brent, how did you know where I lived?" Devon called out curiously.
Turning around, Brent walked backwards toward his car and replied, "Actually, Breanna gave me directions. Apparently she's been here a couple of times for school assignments or something. When I told her I was thinking about asking you to double date with us, she was all for it. 'Said you were a nice guy. I guess she was right, huh?" he joked, waving as he turned around and jogged toward his car. "Later, man! And thanks again!"
Staring blankly as Brent backed out of his driveway, the shock that had initially followed his visitor's revelation gradually began to fade into confusion.
'What was she thinking giving him directions here?'
'Better question, why didn't she mention any of this to you? She's obviously already talked to him about it…'
And then… anger.
'That is a good question. Let's go find out, shall we?'
The bedroom door slamming open and into the adjacent wall woke her abruptly from a light sleep as Breanna sat up with a gasp. Pushing tangled strands of hair from her eyes, she yawned and asked, "Devon? What's wrong? Who was at the door?"
"Who was at the door?" Devon repeated mockingly as he slammed the door and began pacing restlessly back in forth. "You should know, Breanna. Apparently you're the one who gave him fucking directions!"
"Don't act so clueless, I know you know what I'm talking about," he accused furiously.
"That's enough, Devon! What the hell are you talking about, and why are you yelling at me?" she demanded angrily, quickly growing irritated at his seemingly unfounded temper tantrum.
"Brent, Breanna! That's who was at the door! Your fucking boyfriend came over to have a chat, isn't that sweet? Are you happy? You damned well should be considering you practically invited him over!" Grunting in annoyance when she only sat and stared at him in shock, Devon kicked a book near his foot and continued his angry pacing.
"Oh, my God. I am so sor--"
"Save it, Bre. Let me guess, you forgot, right? How typical. Tell me something; do you ever stop and think of anyone but yourself? Do you even think at all?"
Clutching the sheet closer to her chest as if it would shield her from his ire, Breanna dropped her eyes to her lap and wordlessly shook her head. "I don't know what else to tell you other than I'm sorry. I should've told you about Brent. I can't believe I forgot."
Stopping and crossing his arms over his chest, Devon sighed heavily and glared at her. "What were you thinking, Breanna? He told me you practically suggested me for this. Why would you do that and not mention anything about it to me? Are you trying to get us caught? Do you know how lucky you are that he didn't see your car? Thank, God you parked in the back."
Breanna bit her lip and twisted a piece of hair anxiously between her fingers. "I just did what I thought I should. He'd already decided on asking you, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to play along. I… I'm sorry… I should've talked to you about it first."
"Yeah, well… sometimes I wonder about your common sense," Devon muttered, turning away from her and scanning the floor for a pair of shoes. Slipping them on, he straightened up and tucked a hand in the back pocket of his jeans. "Is there anything else you've neglected to tell me that I should know about, Breanna?"
"No, nothing," Breanna replied, and then winced. "Wait… there is one more thing. Brent mentioned something about going to LA for the day. I think that's where he wanted to go on the date."
Devon threw back his head and laughed bitterly. "Lovely. Just fucking lovely. You, me, Brent, and Cassie… One big happy family." Uncrossing his arms and heading to the door, Devon paused and looked back when Breanna called his name.
"Where are you going?"
"Out," he replied shortly. "You better get dressed and go home. 'Wouldn't want to be late for your date, would you?"
Flinching as he slammed the door without even a glance in her direction, Breanna continued to stare sightlessly at the spot where he last stood long after she heard the sound of his car pulling away. With tears clouding her vision and slipping silently down her cheeks, she pulled the sheets over her head and brought her knees to her chest in an innate position of self preservation.
'Oh, God… He's so mad at me… What am I going to do?'
'Buy him something pretty?'
Breanna laughed half heartedly through her tears and shook her head. 'Somehow I don't think that'll work, do you?'
'No… probably not,' her conscience agreed. 'Just wait it out, Bre. Maybe he just needs some time to cool off, ya know?'
'Maybe… And he'll forgive me then, right? I just have to wait, and he'll come back?'
'Yeah, sure, Bre. He'll come back.'
Wiping her face, Breanna sat up and drew in a shaky breath. "Okay, then. That's what I'll do. Wait."
And so she did. For hours. She waited so long, eventually she had to call Brent and give him a bullshit excuse as to why she was cancelling their date.
She waited… but Devon didn't come back. He didn't even call.
Alright, how much do you guys hate me? I am so sorry for the long absence; I don't know what exactly was my issue, but I just couldn't muster the motivation up to finish the chapter. It has been a very frustrating month and half for all, including myself, I'm sure. Anyway, I hope everyone had a nice Christmas and a Happy New Year (yes, it's really been that long, lol) This chapter was initially supposed to include a collaboration between SouledChampion (the author of "Want, Take, Have") and I, but for the sake of updating a.s.a.p., I decided to cut it in half and save that for the next chapter. So, look forward to that. :o)
Okay, next thing, I've made a MySpace page for this story. There you can find a nifty little picture slideshow I made, chapter links, spoilers, and any other little tidbits I decide to add. It's purty, so please feel free to stop by and check it out. Oh, and take my poll while you're there. The link is posted in my author's profile. SouledChampion also put together a prettyful site for me that I've posted a link to in the same place. There you can read my chapters on a much nicer background. Thank you, silly Sabi. You kick so much ass. :o)
Media Miner, Anime Spiral, and AFF readers: If you'd like the above links, please e-mail me and I'll send them to you!
Want, Take, Have by SouledChampion: Samantha Spade: the quiet, sarcastic one. David Weston: the arrogant playboy who can charm anyone - except Sam. Sam's a challenge, and David has never been one to let a challenge go unanswered.
Have I suggested this one before? Absolutely. And if you're not already reading it, you should be. pokes Go. Now.
Submission by Nocturnal silhouette: He would stand her up again and again. But he was like a drug, an addiction. She could never have enough. ONE SHOT
Take heed, this one is a little risqué, but one of the best one shots I've ever read. All of her work is beautifully written, and it's an absolute shame she doesn't have more reviews. Hint, hint.
To my reviewers: I wish I had the time to individually thank you all, but I have a job orientation in the morning, and I must sleep. I promise I will start up reviewer responses again in my very next chapter. Thanks again, you guys really are the best.
Lyrics used above from "Naked" by Avril Lavigne