The Dreaded Ending

As I think back to everything that has gone on I wonder

If im allowed to have this sinking feeling

Like everythings gone wrong

And it wont ever be right again

Am I selfish?

Am I wrong?

Do I whine too much?

Should I mourn?

The death of my formal self

Who I lost long ago

It's not my fault,

I swear its not my fault

I never meant to hurt you

And I know you didn't mean to hurt me

But can we pretend

In some sad charade

That it was last year again

I want to start this whole thing over

But I know,

In the back of my head

That this will end

And we can never start again

Swear to me everything wil be okay

Swear to me things won't end this way

So sad and depressing, it makes me wonder

How anyone could live this way

Without you near me

I fear I couldn't survive

You do brighten my day

And having to think about the possiblity

Of you being here,

But knowing you never can be and won't

I can't bear it.

I want to start it over again

Show you this is worth it.

I know it is,

Why can't you?