SILENT SCREAM

Silently I scream
In involuntary muteness.
Because there's nowhere
For the feelings to go.
Except through the ethereal wires.
That's all we have now.

I silently whisper to myself
That I love you.
And I wish you could hear it,
While I'm hugging a pillow.

I want to scream to the world
That you fill the gap
That everyone else left
Unfilled.
And you still fill it.

But I can't tell you
With my voice
With feeling
Without written words
And it kills me.

My love, you didn't know
That day you first saw my words
How they could change your life.
Do you wish you had never
Chanced upon this arbitrary path?
Or, like someone saved from drowning,
Do you feel you owe me something in return?
I think I saved you, yes maybe I did ...
But maybe this purgatory is worse.
This limbo, where suspended
Between two worlds
You're torn.
Only half a person.
Until the other part
Of your heart
Is restored.

Then you give me a gift.
Of beautiful music.
And I hear it.
And the words tell me
That you are
With me.
Silently,
But always there.

And I feel better.