Words after the Tears...

To friend from foe, I write these words
My passion for you, neither of us know
Your lips, their taste, your firm embrace
Your tender affection
Darling, you make my heart race

Every vivid detail I see in your eyes
But behind the shimmer and glow, I feel all I find are lies
The past, the present, the future, all lies

To you I write the feelings I want you to know
For when I imagine speaking what I wish for you to hear
Quickly, those emotions are replaced with my fear

Everyday I think of what I had and what I lost
My stomachs burning,
For my salvation, I am yearning
A holly war I fight inside
Every day's a battle, yet nothing will subside

Your arms are my hearse
This craving for you a curse
I feel my sanity die with every strong enfold
Yet still I'm addicted to your hold

For you I cry these tears that burn
In my eyes you see, still, I have not learned
About you, I refuse to forget
This haunting infatuation, I viciously protect

Our moments together, of them I dream
I close my eyes, through my head they stream
Of your kiss, of your touch, of your tender caress
These memories, I still feel and possess

Your divine face has invaded my soul
All these wonderful feelings you give me
Yet they don't fill this gaping hole

You're the reason why my mind does greave
You're the reason why my heart still bleeds
You're the reason for my many tears
You're the reason for my emotionless fears

I hate, believing, thinking, feeling, that everyday we grow farther apart
All that you are, everything you've become, to it I'm drawn
These knife-like emotions keep digging in
But still I let the cycle go one, it's my sin

I choke back these words, so many there are
I vomit out a painful cry of devastation and want
So many things I wish I could say
The tension and anger leaves me at bay

A dark angel, you may be
Yet a demon is what you are to me
My mind and body, I feel I no longer control
My heart, my sanity, my pride, all these you stole

For redemption, I do seek
From drama and rage, my god, I'm so weak
Damned to a life of living in my own anguish and hell
Engulfed by a prison of flames
And everyday I stay trapped, locked in this cell

Forgive me, for there is no end to the anger, the frustration, the tears
Forgive me for failing to mend the heart that has bled for years
I sense you presence and reach out to my empty sphere
But as you slowly fade, I find life so much darker if your not here

I've blinded myself with denial, saying and hoping it will be okay
So I never have to fight these tears, for this I pray
Sometimes the pain's too much to stand, too hard to bare
Sometimes I wonder why I think the world of you, why I bother, why I care

Your touch was poison to my heart, still decaying, still rotting, still hurting and crying
Scaring myself from within, just trying to cut out what I refuse to let die.
I want my freedom from these rusty shackles that bind me to you
To get free, to forget all, to run from it an hide
But I know, all I want is to see you go to sleep by my side

Forever you will hold a place in my heart, be a piece of my soul

Dear god, just let me come apart; let everything (like life) come to an end
But now I fall to my knees, and still I'm begging you please
Give it one last chance, one last dieing breath
Don't let this journey of sorrow and pain see it's end
Give me one last reason to live and love again