Author's Note: This is a one shot story. Iwrote it for my English Class. I hope you like it and if you do like sad stories please read Ghost Story by me!! Oh, and just to tell all of you I almost always write sad stories. I can't help it!

Arising Feelings

Sasha Cohen was about 5'6 with hip length brunette colored hair. She had very tan skin, not from going out in the sun, but because she was naturally tan. She was seventeen years old. She was what you could call pretty, but she longed to be beautiful. She wanted to be the person who strangers and even people she knew stared at her in awe every time they saw her, but she wasn't.

She was horrified when her parents told her that she would be going to her Grandmother's house in Cape Cod for the summer. She loved Cape Cod and her grandmother, but she knew that she would see Chad there. Chad and her had been childhood friends up until the age of thirteen. Over one month while Sasha was visiting her Aunt and Uncle, Chad had made new friends. Those new friends were the very people that Sasha loathed. She hated them with every single molecule in her body. They were the people who made fun of her every day. And now Chad was one of them.

Chad never made fun of her. His friends did. He ignored her, which seemed to hurt more. It was like she was invisible to him. Sasha couldn't understand how over a month's time Chad had gone from her best friend to worst enemy. Every day she asked herself how that had happened. Then Sasha moved. She moved away from Chad, from the sunny beaches, from her grandmother's cooking, from the small, candy shop down the street that held every kind of candy imaginable. She moved away to a new life, to a new start. She hated moving away from everything she loved, but she was so happy to get away from Chad. She thought that moving away would just make the pain go away, but it didn't.

It just got worse. She thought about how he was doing every day. She wanted to go up to him and yell in his face. She wanted to yell, "Did our friendship ever mean anything?" But, she did not have that courage, that bravery. Perhaps if she had been someone like Harriet Tubman or Belle Boyd who had so much courage she would have been able to do it, but she wasn't them. She was Sasha Anna Cohen.

Sasha tried to convince her parents that going to Cape Cod would be pure torture. She hardly ever thought about Chad these days, but the pain was still there. It still lingered inside her and she knew if she saw him the pain would come seeping out. It would then stab at her heart over and over again. She couldn't bear that. She knew that she had a lot to be thankful for. Food on her table every night, a roof over her head, loving parents… But, the excruciating pain that was inside her seemed to cut those wonderful things into pieces until they didn't matter anymore. Until all she wanted to do was end it.

Once when she was fourteen her parents hadn't been home. They had been out at Sasha's cousin's birthday party. Sasha had, had a cough and cold so she stayed home alone. She was lying down thinking about all the misery in life when she remembered the sleeping pills that her mother had been prescribed. For over an hour she thought about taking a very large dose of those pills. She walked into her parent's room. Their room was quite large since it was the master bedroom. It had a King sized bed. The floor was hardwood, but it had a humungous, oriental carpet over it. The oriental carpet was deep blue colored and a bright, white. There were various patterns all over it. On that walls were Van Goh's Starry Night, Night Stars, and Café Terrace. They were all so sad. When Sasha stared at them a new hole was made in her heart. There were now two holes in it. The one Chad had made and the one these paintings had made. She walked into her parent's master bathroom and was about to reach for the sleeping pills when her mother came into the bathroom.

"Honey, what are you doing?"

Sasha jumped. "Oh, I was just looking for toothbrush."

Sasha's mother confusedly asked, "Wouldn't your toothbrush be in your bathroom?"

"Oh, yea. I'm really out of it today. I guess that cough and cold have gotten to me."

Sasha ran out of her parent's bathroom as fast as she could. She finally reached her bedroom. She was panting and her cheeks were flushed. She told herself that she would end it all next time.

The next time Sasha had tried to kill herself was when she saw the sharp knife her mother used to cut meat. It glistened in the sunlight and its black handle gleamed. It was on top of the green, marble countertop. Right next to it was a small, wooden cutting board. She reached for the knife and was about to stab herself when her mother came in. Sasha couldn't help thinking, "Why won't you let me die?" Sasha and her family weren't religious at all, but we can only assume that she was talking to God. Or perhaps she was talking to herself. All we know is that she was angry with someone for not letting her kill herself. She calmly said, "Mom, do you want me to help you cut the meat?"

Sasha's mother was delighted that Sasha was offering to help cut the meat. She had lately noticed that Sasha seemed withdrawn and sad. Whenever she looked at her daughter she had a look on her face as if she was lost. As if she had taken the wrong turn on the road. Sasha's mother wanted to give Sasha help, but she didn't want to endanger their relationship even more. "Honey, are you okay?" She asked. Sasha absentmindedly said, "I'm fine mom. Just a bit caught up in school." "Alright dear, but if you ever need any help then your father and I are there for you."

The next and last time was when Sasha and her mother were walking along the sidewalk. They had just been heavily shopping at Kohl's since there had been a huge sale going on. Usually Sasha asked for so many things that Sasha's mother had to keep saying, "We can't afford all that stuff." But, today Sasha hadn't asked for a single thing except for a small notebook and a pen. Sasha's mother then said that she needed to go to the bathroom and she quickly ran back inside Kohl's. She brought all the shopping bags with her except for one. When Sasha's mother went inside Sasha decided to write her a note:

Dear Mom and Dad,

You are both wonderful parents. You've both taught me so many things. As you know a while back I was deeply hurt by Chad. Ever since then the pain has been eating away at me. Ever since then I've wanted to end it. But, each time I've tried some unseen force has stopped me. No matter what I know that I am going to keep trying to end my life. I'm not sure how I will do it, but if you have this note with you then I'm gone. I'm up in the sky, looking down on you. I know that me killing myself will be very hurtful toward you. I'm sorry that I have to do this to you. I probably seem selfish, but I just can't go on. You're probably thinking that I should talk to you or someone, but I can't. I know that won't help. Nothing will help, but killing myself. Please don't think this is your fault. I don't even know if it is Chad's fault. Sure, he dealt the final blow, but I think that even before that I was loosing myself. I think I lost myself when Jack died. When my big brother got murdered. When no one found out who killed him. When right before Jack went to go bike ride to his friend's house we had a humungous fight. So, mom, dad please don't blame yourself. I love you both dearly.

Your Loving Daughter,

Sasha Anna Cohen

She put the note into one of the Kohl's bags. Sasha then saw a Stop & Shop Pea Pod truck that was about to race by her. She ran into the road. The last thing she heard was the steady beating of her heart and her mother screaming no and sobbing.