It's not that the problem started the problem was always there. It was just not that big and not that noticeable. There was a boy. He had a name. John. He was a very nice and sensible guy, he was nice to all his friends, he treated them as people and also always listened to what they had to say, but now these were his shadows. Now he was a very unfriendly person and did not care a little bit about his friends, just because of the problem. The problem also had a name, and God so help someone who had no name. Angel, a very pleasant name for someone it suited. But not for this girl. Another name like Devil or Medusa would have suited her better. But she thought otherwise. Why would someone call someone else who got everything they wanted a bad name? And John was everything. They met each other through Philia, John's dearest and closest friend. The two of them were shopping one day, when Philia spotted her. It wasn't really Angel she was looking at it was her brother Justin, a friend of hers. She immediately went to say 'hi' and then John fell deep into conversation with Angel. Soon Angel asked John out for the same night Philia and John had plans. Philia kindly waited until the two siblings were gone, before she reminded him. He didn't care though. It wasn't everyday the most beautiful girl in the world asked you out, but for John it seemed to happen every week. That was the last time Philia remembered having a good time with John for a long, long time, for the more time he spent with Angel the more and more unbearable he became. Like a bulb blooms into a flower, just by him the other way around.
Poor Philia's heart was broken as she watched John leave his house, probably on his way to Angels. She had more than a crush and John and on that same afternoon where John met Angel Philia was going to come through and tell him. Would John be coming over to my house everyday? Philia pondered. But I can't go back into the past to tell him.
Instead of it being John who walked up her walkway, it was Savannah. Savannah was one of the unlucky ones to have been dumped by John. At first Philia and Savannah didn't think much about each other, but as John ditched her, Savannah turned to Philia for help, which Philia gladly gave her. The two had become friends.
"Hi," Savannah said.
"He gets worse and worse, doesn't he? What's the new?"
"He's just screwed in the head. In a couple of days he'll be fine..."
"Fine? It's pretty obvious he doesn't like me nor does he care that I have feelings too. Every time he meets someone new, I'm a piece of junk to him."
"He treats every girl like a piece of junk. But the difference is to you he keeps coming back. Anyway no guy is worth it, just forget him."
"I want to stop, really I do. It's just that I love him too much."
"It takes a lot to forget someone, you told me the same thing. I was devastated, but you helped me out. He never really likes any of his flirts. Once he finds someone better, he forgets we exist. But to you he keeps crawling back. He's too afraid to realize it."
"His feelings for you," Savannah said, remembering how John ranted and raved about Philia. Savannah had to leave 50 minutes later, she had a doctor's appointment and 20 minutes after that John stormed in. "You bitch!" he yelled furiously.
"What gives you the right to phone Angel and warn her to stay away from me!"
"Why would I do that?"
His answer came from his hand. It felt warm against her face. It hurt. She fell helplessly to her bed and her eyes bulged with tears. John left her not caring that her feelings were hurt. The feeling of his hand race across her face was a feeling, which Philia had never felt before. Never had he physically hurt her. She wanted out, she wanted to forget his existence. She wanted her mind to go blank and her feelings for him to change. Her mind wanted him out, but her heart still beat his name. Everything was mixed.
For a moment she just sat there and thought. Her face swelled up and finally she lifted her finger up to her face to see what damaged John had caused to her outside. Her hand came back with blood on it. Philia didn't care where the blood was coming from, her outside didn't matter to her. Just her feelings.
Her mother appeared in the room shaking her head and speaking a language that Philia couldn't understand. Sighing Philia's mother pinched Philia's nose with a kleenex shut. Finally once it stopped bleeding, Philia's mother said, "Just forget he exists!"
"I can't, I love him too much!"
"How could you love someone who hurts you more than not?" Not waiting for her daughter to answer, she continued, "His mother is downstairs. Come down with me."
Philia obeyed what her mother said. She saw John's mother sitting at the table. At the sight of Philia and her once white tee shirt, now red spotted, she furiously stood up and was not pleased with her son's actions. Not even waiting for Philia to tell her what happened, John's mother stood up and headed out. 10 minutes later John stormed out of his house and Philia watched from her room how he angrily though the streets.
"My mother told me to get out of the house," John concluded. He was sitting in Angel's kitchen with both her brothers present and was telling then what had happened. "And it's all that Philia's fault!"
Justin, her younger brother, wasn't very pleased with what he was hearing, but couldn't go against his brother and sister, they were much to strong together. Plus, add in John. The two of them had already overpowered him to do all the housework while their father wasn't home. He didn't know who to tell. His father was only coming home in 7 days and Justin hoped by then that his sister would leave poor Philia alone.
Dave was Angel's other brother. He was 20 years old and the perfect brother to Angel. He was too friendly to her and did anything she wanted too. Of course he was paid in reverse.
"It seems that you need my help," Dave said.
4 days had past since the hitting incident. Philia's eyes were still black and blue and her nose still bled occasionally. It was Friday night and John's family, including John, were over at Philia's house for supper. His mother had let him back in and he promised not to cause Philia any more trouble.
In those 4 days Philia hadn't eaten a single bite, she claimed to have lost her appetite. And Philia wasn't overweight to start off with, she was getting closer and closer to anorexia. Her mother and even John's mother were begging her to eat, but Philia just couldn't.
John's too little siblings were even on her side, they both came up to her and told her what a monster John could be. She laughed with them, even though she felt dry inside and didn't feel like laughing.
Philia couldn't take seeing him anymore, so she ran out of the house. She ran to her spot, once long ago had been a place were she went with John to play or tell each other secrets since other people couldn't see them. Behind their house there was a lake and there was there a certain spot just for them. John hadn't gone there with her for ages, but Philia figured he took his girlfriends there.
Philia heard a person approaching. The person approached her and forced her to lie. Not being strong enough to fight back, Philia let the person pull off her pants. Her tears started to roll down as she felt him enter her. The boy on top of her pulled off her tee shirt and bra and began to rub her chest. Finally when the rapping was done, he began to physically beat her. The raper had the courtesy to carry her back and plop her down on the steeps of her house. There she lay naked for more than a moment until John came out. He was taken back by what he saw and yelled, "Mom", but didn't go near her to help her. He just stood there and looked at her. Both mothers came running and at the sight of her daughter, Philia's mother went crazy and yelled for someone to phone an ambulance. John watched as his former best friend's hand tired to move.
3 days later Philia woke up and still wouldn't eat. She could practically move and the doctors feared she was on her deathbed. Even a priest came by to talk to her. Savannah was by her side a lot, telling her to eat, but not one person could get her to.
"Dad will be here any minute!" Dave said, though his two siblings knew about it.
Justin was about to do what he was waiting to do for the last couple of days, he was going to tell his father, Luke, about what Angel was up to. Angel didn't even really like John and planned to dump him in a couple of days, once Philia was put into her resting place. Justin knew that his brother rapped Philia, but was not sure if John knew. He had wanted to tell John, but would John had believed him? Anyway Angel was always around him, it was hard to do anything to help.
Finally Luke walked in the door and all three of his kids jumped into his arms. John was also there, waiting to met Luke and they firmly shook hands. After catching up, Justin asked his father if they could go for a walk. "Sure" had been Luke's answer and the moment Justin was sure they were far enough away from their house, he said, "We're headed towards the hospital."
"I have someone to show you."
The hospital was only a 5-minute walk away. Justin led his father into a room where a girl lay. The girl was in really bad shape, she looked as if someone had beat her up and as if she was anorexic at the same time. And it looked as if the girls didn't have that much longer to live.
"Hi Justin," the girl said in a dry voice. She was hardly able to talk.
"This is my father," Justin said, almost in tears. He had been there already twice and couldn't let go of the fact that it was his fault for it getting this far, he should have helped her sooner.
Once they were out of the hospital, Luke asked his son, "Why did you bring me here?"
"It was John who hurt her mentally and your two other children who hurt her physically."
Justin told the whole story to his father, not leaving out one point. He even handed the bag of cocaine he had found one day will snooping around in his sister's room. Luke was furious, he knew Justin to never lie. He stormed into his house and yelled, "John! Dave! Angel! Get your asses down here right now!"
All three of them appeared not a moment later, all three surprised about Luke's mood swing. Luke held the package of cocaine in front of his daughter's face.
"Where did you get that?" she screamed.
"Does it matter? And you John are the biggest asshole in the world! That poor girl is lying in her deathbed because of you! Ask my daughter if she really cares for you."
John looked over at Angel for an explication. "I don't," she whispered not making him ask the question.
Continuing Luke said, "Was it you who told Dave to rape her?"
"What?" John asked. "You did that to her?"
"I'm going to take care of this! Justin, go phone the police. And you John should rush over to the hospital and help that girl out otherwise she'll die."
Before John was out the door, he heard Luke scream at Angle "I don't care if they arrest you!"
John ran all the way to the hospital and into her room. He had finally realized what an awful person he was to the one person who owned his heart. She was pale and John would kill himself if she were to die. Next to her was her untouched food. The nurses hadn't stopped trying hard to feed her.
John sat in the visitor's chair and looked at the food and had to admit hospital food looked awful. No matter what it was, John knew it had to be healthy and commanded her to eat.
"No," she said in a whisper.
"I'm going to stuff it down your throat!"
And that was what he did. He spooned fed her the mystery food and asker her afterward if she was still hungry.
"I'm the dirtiest, stupidest, brainless and unthoughtful person I have ever met. Yet, I'm the only one who could help you..."
"Because I love you."
"You can't love me! I hurt you so much that you were going to die! You could never except my apology!"
"Savannah was right."
"What? That I'm the biggest jerk in the whole wide galaxy and that I don't deserve you?"
"No, that you do love me, were just too afraid inside to tell me."
"I do love you," John said full of tears, "Too much. My love for you was always there, hiding deep down. All those girlfriends really meant nothing to me."
"Once you're healthy again and you really do forgive me, you have a boyfriend."
"I don't know if I can wait that long," Philia whispered.
By: Melanie Kepper
Written on: September 23th, from 7:50 p.m. to 8:39 p.m.