Lies of Change

I sit here, alone,

Singing to a song of death,

Makes me think of you,

And all you have done for me,

Or maybe all that you haven't.

Then I wonder,

What is taking you so long,

Time is passing by quickly,

As the song ends, and another starts,

Wonder where you are here and now.

Twist my words as you like,

Think what you want about how I feel,

Some things will never change,

As I think about how this is a game to you,

Nothing but a contest with me as the prize.

I've learned about what you all say and do,

All lies to keep me happy,

Pollutants to kill me off,

To ruin all the walls I've built,

Keep me from the pain you cause.

Again, time is passing,

With nothing to show for it,

Nothing but words,

Words you will never see,

What are words but lies waiting to happen.

You are a lie to me,

Mirage in the mirror,

Words that I have wrapped around me,

Strangling my breath and fears,

You do so much, but so little, to hurt me.

You don't see it,

Blind to the damage you cause in me,

As I wait by the phone,

Wishing there were more to life than you,

But I have failed at convincing myself otherwise.

As these words become the lies they were destined to be,

My life re-forms,

Around none other than your best friend,

I warned to think fast,

But life hit you fast in the face.

I'm not always there,

Not as whipped as you think I am,

Not the person you thought you knew,

Not only here, but there too,

I'm nothing you thought me to be.

Then my mind changes,

And you are again the center of it all,

I battle the demons of myself,

Trying to find the answer to my own questions,

Never finding exactly what I was looking for.

He becomes nothing to me,

And you, everything,

You were once my Earth, moon, and stars,

Then he came in,

Confused what was right and wrong.

Now I know not what to think,

As my poetry does nothing but get it out,

He doesn't even know anything about my feelings,

You know nothing of what I feel for him,

All lies of change.