Watch Me

I always thought of myself as a strong girl. Nothing really got to me, and nothing could stand in my way. There was no one in the world that could stop me.

Imagine how it felt to find out that I was wrong. Imagine how it felt when I met the one person in the world capable of tearing me to shreds:

Myself.

How can I fight without totally destroying myself? I've tried, and I've literally torn myself apart and been left to bleed.

I feel so wrong.

Wrong.

I felt like I had finally done something right. After being wrong for such a long time, I was finally starting down the right path.

Well, it looks like I've chosen the wrong road again and I find myself just as lost as before.

These twisting roads lead me around twists and bends, taking me anywhere but where I want to do, and stopping at a dead end. I want to go back and try the other paths, but there's no going back here. I need to keep going forward.

But, no matter which path I choose, it's not right.

Right.

I can't be right. Everywhere I go, I feel like there's nothing but pain and despair. That can't be right. Can it?

In the race of life, why am I always last?

Last.

I can't last much longer. I'm so empty inside. I can feel the anger, hate, sorrow, pain, and tainted hope pulling everything else in.

It hurts.

It is a pain unique to me. No one else can understand.

It is a pain that makes me feel ready to collapse into myself.

It is such a pain that nothing else hurts anymore. Not rejection, not betrayal . . . Not even these cuts that cover my body.

It's just a constant pain that never leaves me. It's always there, pulsating within me, maliciously reminding me of its presence.

No matter how much I try, I can't be that strong.

Strong.

I always thought of myself as a strong girl.
Hah!

Watch me slowly destroy myself.