Awake

Laying awake, out of habit

Hiding beneath my bed sheets

I pray that I am cursed

I pray that there's a name for what is passing through

My mind

I pray that someday, I won't be

Torn to pieces

In my own imagination

I pray that my own fantasies

Did not create

The place in my subconscious

Where I make love to my own pain

Losing my free will

I used this twisted world to hide from my own

In my own

Everything is changing

Everyone is gone

And I fall deeper into a world

Where winning is impossible

And I never want to try

I pray that I would change it if I could

I pray that someone will help me

Before this fantasy becomes my life

And I can't pretend to know reality

I pray that someday, I will ask for help

And, without tears

Without blame

Someone will listen to me

And convince me that I'm sane

That I'm not to blame

Say they understand

And help me escape

My natural high