Everyone has a Very Worst Fear –

Heights, bugs, dandelions, its there.

But mine's a tad more unusual, I fear

Something that I'm terribly ashamed to share.


You see the thing that gets me

Most in the knees

Is the wee little weevil

Called Public Speaking.


The horror begins

When my name is called,

My insides are jellied

And Oh Dear! Cries the Lord!


My heart leaps out

And commits suicide

While my lungs protest

And go on strike.


My knees start a-shaking

With wild, NEW life,

And my ankles join in

In gleefully fervent strife.


So wobble wobble wobble

As I quiver to the front

And NO! NO! NO!

I'm not doing this, I can't!


Then I'm standing there, trembling,

The local nutcase

My brain having vanished

And Mr. Weevil in its place.


And I'm stared at, scrutinized,

Examined and x-rayed

As I hold my paper just right

An inch from my face.


So with that poor excuse

For a strong, sturdy cover

I plaster on a frantic smile

Cursing my knees, those lousy traitors!


Then I creak open my mouth

And begin to croak and quaver–

Going on for an eternity

Going on forever–


–It's over before I know it

And I stand stock still

Before zooming back to my seat

And shrinking until


I'm no more than a

Mere bitty speck

An ostrich with its head

Buried up to its neck


And there, I stay, frozen

Until another age has passed

And I realize – wait a moment,

That was a blast!


But really, don't worry

When the next chance arrives

- I'm an astoundingly good ostrich -

I'll be blissfully sick with hives.



Hey all you guys!!:o)

Erm, is anyone even reading this? Well, if you are, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!:):) Oh, I'd really LOVE if you would review -cough--ahem- ... so if you've read till here and haven't yet done so, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??!??!!

Yes.:-) -coughs delicately- So anyway, that was a poem I'd written as a Literature assignment ... last year.. I was trying my hand at humour, and I thought it wasn't too shabby. Hope you enjoyed it!:) LOL thanks.