Pins and sewing needles that prick the skin of his forearms and I am soft holding back. The static of the phone sounds like the ocean as I watch the warm cream candle glow and smell its cloying, sick way. Letters on folded notebook paper crackle and words are read to look through the warped and jagged handwriting to find love. Tapping down the worn rose steps, away from a forbidden place and the smell of tough leather jacket. He tosses back his long hair that shone gold with long fingers and crooked thumbs that tremble in a constant shimmer. Wide lush laughter rather than pain.

How long do I have until you abandon me?