So many people wonder why I'm the kind of person that I am up to this day. To some this up, I want my readers of this to know there's really no kind of direct category to put this in as it's not exactly a poem or a story. It's a combination of both: it's the story or to the poetry of what makes me, me. It's going to split into several parts though, which can be read in any order. Please note, I'm not trying to offend no one with this either. I'm just trying to let everyone see through my eyes for once.

Part 1 – Death and Friendship

I'm the only person that I can think of as I've been writing this that has actually seen death right before their eyes.

It was my sophomore year of high school and this guy that was dating a girl (I knew them both as couple) and just right there, blew his head out like in the intro to Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I guessed he couldn't handle this world any longer so that was his escape. (Now do you see where did I get that title from for that poem?)

It was then I realized that there are some things that you can protect your friends from. Even up to this day, I find it none of my own business or job to help with every one of my friends' problems.

I think of myself as a twisted individual every time I watch those horror films or any other movie/TV show/cartoon/whatever and just laugh at the people dropping dead or think it's so cool.

It's never like that day…or ever will be.

I perfectly understand life and death.

Death is the consequence we have to deal with for being born. For every life born there is death.

Life and Death are so beautiful and at the same time sad as most people waste theirs or drag it out to a point where their deaths are meaningless.

I value and love each and EVERY friend I have.

I don't talk to some as much as others – as I see it if we at least talk every now and then and I acknowledge your existence on this world that's good enough right?

Some of my friends don't realize that if I see you all day, I seriously doubt you'll want to see me any other time of that day unless you really dedicated…plus I don't like people managing my time for me…I do have other friends that need me and/or I would like to hang out with too.

Go ahead and call me the worst friend in the world but I don't care.

The reason for that is that some of my friends need more attention than others, namely, my special group of female friends I call my "Little Sisters", the first one of my "sisters" is actually was adopted as a child. When we both became friends she calls me her "big brother" so it kinda stuck… (Yes, Ashley I'm talking about you b/c I know you would kill me if I didn't geez, lol.)…Anywho..

My Little Sisters always need a lot of attention I don't mind giving. Thanks to them, I've been cried on and hugged on for mental support for any kind of BS in their lives. This brings up another point that I personally hold true: women are treasures of this world and should be treated like princesses when possible.

My Boys from my hometown are a pack of guys that I hold myself back from giving help to or advice. We all have an understanding that we have to learn on our own and each of us have to get our experiences our own way. "Live and learn." (Bruce Wayne to Terry McGennis in Batman Beyond)

I like to listen to my friends' problems. It sometimes makes mine seem trivial. Like my father once told me, "There's always someone out there who's suffering more than you."

Go ahead and call me naïve but I would do anything in my power for my friends, as long as its logical or reasonable…but that rule goes out the window when I'm in love…see that section for that explanation.

As I see it, I rather myself experience all the hells in life than have that fate on my friends' shoulders. I walk everyday with hell on my shoulders worth of burden and I don't mind adding to that burden for my friends...your pain is my pain if you wish it.