Angels By Day

If I could take back everything I said and did back then, I would. Sadly enough, the world continues to move on despite what I want and I am often swept away without a goodbye. So I can't take back the past, no matter hard as I try. It's as solid as the grave stone marked with your epitaph.

Back then, we were just kids. All four of us. I always loved that car my father gave to me, and I always loved driving. It was meditative but when meditating was not what I needed it could really chase the road demons. I knew you loved it too, as did our other two close friends.

We used to.. Well, you know what we used to do, we would get out on the back roads and see if we could race time itself. Well, I never won that race, but still, the laughter and love leaves me with something I always think back on.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is, well, I got back in a car today, and I took the wheel. I closed my eyes, picturing you in the front seat beside me and our friends behind us. It was all I could do not to freak out. I know it's only been a month or so, and I still miss you, but I felt sure you were there with me.

It's that precious strength you've given me, when everything else has failed. That feeling of heaven's wings falling over me, protecting me from harm. It's that feeling that I felt the night of the accident.

That's how I knew, that's how I knew I had to write to you. Telling you all this. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to ride with me down to the lake. Ride with me at eighty miles an hour on a midnight street. I shouldn't have begged when you sensed you shouldn't go. I'm sorry, that's all I can say.

So you never wrote your own epitaph, we pulled it from your diary which you left to me. I live by your words now. I hope this letter reaches heaven as I lay it down to rest on that sad gravestone.

By day we are Angels, by night we are God's children.

I love you always.