Chapter Nineteen

I felt like I was swimming, all alone in the darkness moving with the black water. But I wasn't swimming, when my eyes shot open I was snapped from my fantasy. Bam was leaning over me with a glass of water and had emptied it on my head. For a second I was dazed, trying to figure out what had happened, but it only lasted that long. Then everything came back in a flood and I felt sick again. I'd really screwed up this time and now Bam had come back from Mexico alone and announced that he loved me? This story just seemed to become more and more screwed up and to think that this was my life.

"Are you okay, you took a pretty bad fall when you passed out."

"I'm fine." The second I got up I regretted saying that because Bam's face started spinning and I felt queasy.

"You sure don't look fine. Are you sure you can even tell where you are?" Bam lifted me up in his arms and started up the stairs towards my room.

"I'm fine, let me down." Halfheartedly, I squirmed around as if I really wanted to escape. If I were ready to admit it, I would have acknowledged how much I was enjoying the moment. When we reached my bedroom and he sat me down on the down comforter of my bed I was more than disappointed. It was then that I realized how blind I'd been for so long. What was the common element in my heartbreak? Bam, every time I felt heartbroken it led back to the initial shock of Bam dumping me so many years ago. It wasn't Novak, Johnny or Dico that I was still in love with, it was Bam.

Without another thought I got up on my elbows and kissed Bam hard on the lips. At first he didn't react, only mashed his lips harder against mine on accident. But after he realized that I was giving him what he'd come for, he opened his lips and let the kisses become deeper. His tongue gently danced with mine as his cold fingers gently slid over my warm pale flesh. Without even having to ask Bam knew what I was hoping this moment would end in. He undid the buttons of my shirt so that my black bra was exposed and the skin of my stomach was exposed to the freezing air. I slid out of the shirt and pulled his wet hoodie and shirt over his head in one smooth movement. Before taking off any more clothes Bam kicked his shoes off and let them clunk to the ground as he kissed my neck. Gently nipping the skin and licking ever part of my neck down to my belly button. He concentrated on my belly button, gently licking it so that his tongue barely grazed it, but sent chills down my spine.

His grey eyes turned back towards more my face as he kissed his way back up and slipped my bra off. First taking one strap in his teeth and letting it slip down under my shoulder, then doing the same with the other. My bra was still on, but my breasts were exposed much to Bam's pleasure. As he took to playing them I undid his pants and let them fall to the ground. He finally unclasped my bra and threw it behind him, then followed suit and took my pants off. His cold fingers sent chills down my spine as he discovered every part of my body, my body slightly quivering with every move he made.

Did I regret letting him in my house? Not at all, especially when he let two fingers enter me and make me gasp. My fingers scratched his back as I pulled him against me, so that he could get in further. I gasped as he used three fingers, the third more cold than the other two. The cold sensation made me shake and gasp, as if I'd jumped into a pool in December. When he finally rested both hands next to my head and he reached over to get a condom out of his pant pocket I was relieved. I was begging for it, my whole body pressing against his and when I felt him inside me I bit down on his lower lip. A drop of blood dripped down, which he promptly wiped away before kissing me harder. Now I remembered why I was hung up over Bam, he truly knew me and knew what I wanted and how I wanted it.

Bam rolled off of me and onto his back, in the same position that I now was in. The recent events washed over me, but unlike before I was calm. For some reason I had the utter confidence that I could handle everything and handle it well. I closed my eyes and leaned into Bam, letting myself fall into a dream, Bam's arms wrapped around me so that his now warm stomach heated my back.


Warm sunlight shining on my face woke me up a few hours later. Bam was already up and leaning on his side reading a book he'd found on my floor. A sweet smile formed on my face as I pressed against him and kissed his neck. When my cool lips touched his warm skin he abandoned the book and turned back towards me. As he started to kiss me something popped into my mind that I couldn't resist share.

"Bam when I kiss you I can't stop thinking about Johnny." Bam pulled me closer so that my ear was right near his lips.

"Shut up." His lips licked the side of my earlobe before he kissed me back hard on the lips.

((Author Note: Did you guys like the ending? Because quite frankly I really like how this story ended up and I might write a prequel, but right now I'm not sure. I guess it depends on what you guys think of this chapter. I thought it was a good ending because the whole story was leading up to this. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you guys helped me keep going and continue the story. I'm happy you guys stuck with me even when I was writing the original version "Slide" before switching over to this. I'm glad you could see the potential for this story. I'm also glad that I never gave up and continued rewriting every chapter that I wasn't completely happy with. Thanks and I'd be really happy to see reviews, please tell me honestly what you think about how this story came together. Love Kimmi))