Hello, sorry for the delay. I keep on forgetting about this. Sigh. Anyway, this thing ends at chapter five and the title of the chapter is at the bottom. :D
I don't know what to say. No words could say how much I hurt for you, for me, for both of us. I still can't grasp it Daniel, I don't think I can live without you. I couldn't imagine never being able to see you smile again or hear your voice again or feel you around me again….it's just…. I can't.
I know I'm being selfish. I know that I've been selfish but I cannot help it. I can't stop thinking of how I've been wallowing too much in myself to actually notice all the changes that had been happening to you. I've been so caught up in myself that I never took the time to savor each and every time we spend together. And to think that now, I am as helpless as I was before… and that I couldn't do anything to this changes that will actually make a difference on anything.
Daniel, if there is one thing I cannot feel because of you its fear. I am not afraid of you. I can't do that. I am afraid for you. I'm not afraid to take your hand, to walk with you, I need that now more than anything else in the world. I need to love you.
I am not mad at you. I can't be. I'm mad at life for throwing us such an impossible wall to get over. For dealing us with a hand that is losing from the very start. Why us? Why you? Why me? This is so hard, why do we have to go through these things? Nobody should ever be allowed to go through such cruel circumstances.
I've taken leave; we can leave for the retreat anytime. We'll spend all the time in the world there. We can walk by the beach, go snorkeling, and trekking, whatever you want. I promise I'd always, always walk with you by the sunset.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to be strong for both of us but I can't help but dread each coming sunset. I look at it and see not the beauty but the fact that it's one more day closer to when a part of me will be gone with you, forever. I see it just as it is. The setting of the light. The light of my world that is you. That will always be you.
Time is stealing you from me Daniel, I'll hold on as long and as tight as I can.
I love you,
Title: Time Steals