Chapter Two

Ah, there you are. It's actually about time you got here, I was beginning to become impatient. I see you've brought none of those awful felines with you, so I do believe you should be alright. For now, yes.

I think you should be fine.

Did you remember the socks?

Oh yes, I see now that you did. Pink and orange, how original! I myself have never actually tried that particular combination. Personally, I tend to stick to think like, ah… Yellow, and that awful color of pea soup. Yes, I find that combination of socks particularly delicious, in fact. Not that I eat them, or at least the one that tastes like pea soup, ahhahaheheh. Heh. Sorry.

Now, let's just get started here. I'll take a moment to let you soak everything in, yes, every little detail, every miniscule thought you might have lingering somewhere between your colon and the back of your eyeballs…

Yes, I do believe that was time enough.

Alrighty then. Now that you're actually here, you must be wondering WHY, precisely, that the evacuation of Earth had become quite necessary.

Well, here is why. We here on Planet 195 found it particularly necessary to remove the rest of you from the planet, because it was about to be eaten by a particularly nasty little bugger we like to call the Anti-Dementizoner.

Now, I'm sure you've never heard of the Anti-Dementizoner, and that's why it had not yet become apparent to you that the evacuation was necessary.

Honestly, we here at Planet 195 do not know much about the Anti-Dementizoner ourselves, nor do we honestly know why we call it that, but the one thing that we, here at Planet 195 as I mentioned before (we are quite proud of our little nook in the universe, eh, wot wot?), know…

Well, we know that it is deadly. Whichever planet it decides to latch itself onto generally blows up in one nasty way or another.

If our records are correct, actually, Earth has had a visit by the Anti-Dementizoner more than once.

That, my Earthling friend, is precisely what happened to your dreadful, stinking, thundering, ferocious dinosaurs. Yes. The Anti-Dementizoner. It killed them all, come to think of it.

There has actually been another time as well, ho ho. The Bubonic Plague? Yes, it was the result of the Anti-Dementizoner as well, but we ah… won't get into that now. I'm afraid that I accidentally caused THAT incident, so I'm really not too keen on talking about it.

So, now that you've arrived, and know precisely why it was that you couldn't stay on Earth, you'll be under the protection of the Planet Relocation Program, or PRP as we like to say it.

You see, though, dearest Earthling, you are actually quite special. YOU, my friend, yes YOU, you sitting at your computer, reading these very words and not actually realizing that you are not in fact on Earth, but have ventured forth to Planet 195, are special.

You are going to help with a veeerrryyy interesting assignment.

It is time to begin.

ONCE AGAIN, PLEASE, DO NOT PANIC.