Fix my skirt
Primp my hair
Remove my necklace
Adjust my skirt again
I'm laughing it off
But I'm nervous as hell
Taking my seat in the audience
I try to focus on the other performances
It sucks being close to the end
It sucks doing this at all, I think
My fingers curved, moving constantly
Playing the memorized music on my air piano
Finally, our names are called, Anthony and I
I thought the time would never come
Suddenly I wish it hadn't
Walking past the stage to get to the piano
Remembering to pull my skirt down when I sit
Holy crap, the judges are so close to me
If I fell backward I'd land right in their lap
I can almost feel them breathing down my neck
My hands are so shaky and sweaty it's hard to move my mike
I look over at Anthony and he nods from the stage with a smile
I focus on the keys in front of me and attempt to swallow
It's so hard to breathe and I feel like I'm gonna throw up
Placing my hands on the piano, I try to remember what notes I start on
Then music reaches my ears, next a sour note or two
I'm messing up already and it's only the interduction!
My heart's beating so fast I think I actually skip a measure
Suddenly I hear Anthony sing, I'm up next!
I can't do this! I can't! A sharp intake of breath that doesn't reach my lungs
But my fingers don't stop and my mouth opens, the phrase on my tongue
Oh God, why don't I hear my own voice? What's wrong?
The song continues, I'm powerless now to stop this disaster
My mouth dry, voice unsteady, whole body shaking violently, or so it seems
Lights are flashing, I can't see, can't hear, so cold
The keys in front of me become a blur and I hear more mistakes
"Close your eyes, calm yourself, focus on the music." My mind, a thought
I know it's what a musician would do but I can't make it happen
I'm so scared I actually almost scream when my foot slips off the pedal
3rd section, oh, I really needed music for this one! I'm so scared.
What have I done? I'm screwing up the words on the verses I wrote myself!
Terrible ending, I think I changed keys
I'd long ago lost track of Anthony, this is bad
A strange sound comes from behind, applause
Looking down I see my hands are shaking violently but raised off of the keys
Carefully I stand and with head down walk shamefully to my seat
My feet shuffle numbly, knees weak, I almost fall 4x
Sitting down I know what's coming, lay my head in my hands
Focus, focus, make it stop. As long as no one even mentions...
"Great job!" Nikki beams from beside me, pats me on the knee proudly
I think I really am going to throw up, "I've got to go," a whisper.
Did I actually speak? I'm up on my feet and through the door
Now I'm running, no escape, soon I'm in the bathroom…