Tumbling in the Hay

SugarCoatedWalnut

One-Shot

"Mommiiieeeee!!!!" An infantile voice shrieked out loudly.

"What is it dearie?" Another voice replied calmly, unbothered by the excessive amount of decibels in the earlier question.

"I want a pet! I want a pet like that!" The first voice screamed and wailed loudly. "I want a llama!!"

"Honey, have you been watching 'The Emperor's New Groove' too much?" The second voice says hesitantly.

"NOOOOO!!!! I LOVE EMPEROR KUZCO!!!!" The child shouts, outraged.

-:Is it an 's' or 'z'?:-

"Alright dear. I'll try to find one." I could see the sweat drops on Mom's forehead.

The scraping of a chair indicated that Mom was standing up. Footsteps padded softly towards the living room where I was currently lounging in.

"She's going nutters again, eh?" I drawled sarcastically, not raising my eyes up from the telly which was showing some guy making wonderful looking mashed potatoes. Yumm…

"She's not going nutters. She's just excited, that's all." Mom says irritably and sank down in the sofa cushion beside my foot."

"Excited my ass."

Mom gasps at my 'profanity'. Yeah right.

"Jeffrey Daniel Ru-"

"Cut the crap, Mom. I'm off." I muttered to her and rose from the sofa, not sparing her a glance.

"Where are you going!?" She calls after me needily. God… Mom.

"Brad's." Was my short reply.

The door slams shut before she could utter another sentence.

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"So what's the problem now?" Brad asked me when I barged into his room, his back to me, facing the computer.

"Vera got Kuzco-crazy and wanted a llama." I answered him promptly before bouncing into his super-springy bed. Wheee!

It somehow got his attention. The wrong one. "LLAMA!!?? That is SO cool Fry! Can you ask your mom to really get one!?" Brad screams joyfully, whirling his spinny chair around to face me, forgetting all about the porn he was looking at.

"What the hell!?" I bellow. "Not you too!!!"

"C'mon!!!" That was all he gave for a warning before he grabbed my wrist tightly and dragged me out of the room.

Crap.

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-3 weeks later-

"C'mon, Vera verie. Can I pet Mr. Kuzco?" Brad coos persuadingly at Vera, all the while tickling her little nose.

She looked up at him, starry-eyed. "Yes… yes… yes you may."

Please note that the earlier sentence was said in a breathy love-struck voice complete with a pair of batting 6-year-old eyelashes.

Oh god. Don't tell me. Don't tell me Vera has a crush on Brad. Brad the guy who fucking screamed at the cinema when I dragged him to watch the Ring 2. Not only did he just scream, he choked uncontrollably on the popcorn he was nervously stuffing into his mouth before throwing up on my new pair of sneakers. Fuck him.

"Fries! Let's go see the llama!" He excitedly squeaked at me and this time, grabbed my waist, hoisting me out the back door.

Help!!! Crazy teenage kidnapper on the loose!

"Oof." I oofed when I was flung down on the hay in the new freshly built stable for the llama. God save me if I call it anything other than 'the llama'.

"Oh my god!" Brad squealed when he sighted the infamous llama. "It's SO cute!!!"

"Cute my arse." I mutter, rubbing my still sore ass, especially where an exceptionally sharp and thick blade of dried grass poked me through my pants. "It's just as ugly as a diseased elephant."

"An elephant and a llama are two totally different things." He says in his know it all tone, complete with closed eyes, a nodding head and a cocking finger. "And yes. That ass is cute."

My eyes flew up at the last statement. "WHAT!?"

He just rose and eyebrow and crouched down next to my lying figure. "I said… you're ass is cute."

"Dude! Are you gay or something!?" I frantically scramble around for stable footing, trying to wrench this new tidbit of information out of my best friend.

"Probably." He just stares at me with a level-headed look that stopped me from all movement.

"Oof."

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"Mommiiieeeee!!!!" An infantile voice shrieked out loudly.

"What is it dearie?" Another voice replied calmly, unbothered by the excessive amount of decibels in the earlier question.

"Get the guys away from Kuzco!! He might get a heart attack because they're doing funny things I've seen on TV!!"

"What!?"

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A/N: Hehe… this was pretty funny. If you get the last part though. This little short story was for a llama contest by PlzNsertSN. The topic or rules for this contest was supposed to be a one-shot around a llama as the main plot.

Thanks to xanthofile and PlzNsertSN. Read their llama stories too!

Was it a bit too short? Oh well… can't do anything about it.