She tells me that she knows me.
Knows what I need.
Knows how I think.
So I ask her to tell me.
She says that i need a woman with problems.
I need someone to protect.
that if i had someone who didn't have somthing wrong,
I wouldn't know what to do.
I laugh it off.
She's drunk, and tired, and emotional.
Nothing to what she says.
but, it's not like having problems is a bad thing.
whatever shit we put up with makes us who we are.
it's not the shit we go through that defines us.
It's how we deal with it that shows who we are.
I think my friend is close to the mark.
I think, in all honesty, i do need someone who needs help.
I need someone who needs me.
is that wrong?
I don't know.
I've never thought about it before.
but I don't think it matters.
If i can go all day, and make one woman smile,
then in my book that's a good day.
If i can make one woman happier, or make her day better,
than that's all I need.
I tried to tell my friend that,
and she said i was full of shit.
That I've been telling myself that
for so long that I have to believe it.
That I need more than that, I just don't know how to admit it.
Damn her for making me think about this.
I don't mean that.
I just... I'm afraid to think about this.
This is unknown land, hostile territory.
Not a place i want to be.
But, i guess I have to grow up and face this shit.
And nows a good a time as any.