5 years

5 years of what?

5 years of pain

5 years of hurt

5 years of suffering

5 years of change

pain in my eyes

hurt in my chest

suffering mentally

changing slowly

i've seen many things in 5 years

i've seen death

loss of friends

the pain burns

it's in my eyes

written across my face

but it seems that no one sees

my chest heaves

up and down

each breath is a chore

as the knot of hurt still remains

it aches fro care

fro some kind of attention

instead the attention

of that of a failure

a pessimest

down-size view of the world

to convince myself that i am a failure

to say that i don't care

i am only suffering

in my mind

i say one

and feel another

the sweet, innocent girl

has now become

the rebellious, "fuck you" attitude chick


hates girly girls

baggy pants and dark clothes

hates make up and wants to fight

change is supposed to be a good thing

but for a person that is afraid of change

only makes the fear worse than it already is

i wen to back 5 years

to skirts and make up

cute and nice

it felt good but uncomfortable

for so long i've been the way i am

can i change back to who i was?

or will i forever be a replica of my parents?

5 years

look at what it's done

time changes people

people change time

it's long

too long

5 years and this is where i am