Beta read by lovely rodeoclown


Confessions

Chapter 13 - Stalker

Tom

"Hi Tom."

I don't answer; I just stare at her, trying to understand what her problem is.

Her enthusiasm seems to dampen a bit, but not enough for her to give up trying to talk to me.

"Have you seen Liam?"

I keep staring at her, and then blow a mouthful of smoke on her so that her eyes begin to tear.

Why the fuck is she talking to me? It's as if she thinks that just because she's now officially exchanging saliva with Liam that I come along with the whole package.

She laughs a bit, I'm not sure if it's a nervous laugh or not.

"I have been like calling him the whole morning but it seems as if he forgot his phone or something."

Why isn't she getting the hint? It isn't that hard to get. You learn it the first day you enter this school. She's not someone who can go and just start talking to someone in our group. It's like a rule that everyone knows. The rule that says that you should stick to your own group and she clearly does not belong to our group.

Maybe she's trying to impress her friends. Even though they would never admit it, I can see them trying to hide behind the lockers, staring at us with eyes that don't seem to blink.

"We're going to meet after school, do you wanna come?"

I almost choke on my own smoke.

"What?"

She looks happy about the fact that I've responded. She throws her hair over her shoulder in a way that seems too practiced and smiles at me. Her friends looked impressed.

"I'm wondering…"

"I'm not deaf. I heard you. I'm just wondering who the fuck you think you are."

"She's a whore," Rick says, laughing and coming over to sling an arm around my shoulders.

She looks shocked.

"I just, I mean…I..." Her ridiculous amount of confidence seems to have disappeared.

"No, I don't want to go with you and Liam," I say, trying to decide if she is fucking with me or just plain stupid.

She continues looking shocked. Why is she shocked? Does she think I'm going to say yes?

I hate people like her, I hate the people she's with and they hate us, even though the hate is just something that they use to hide the fact that they're afraid of us because they're too weak and pathetic to stand up for themselves.

"Bye bye," Rick says in a mocking voice and waves at her.

She doesn't move, so I kick her hard in the shin. It is just as childish and fun as it should be. She stumbles and then flees. Rick laughs and I try to, but I'm just too pissed off for that.


"Hi Tom."

What?

"There weren't any other seats left so…" She sits down with a smile beside me as if it's perfectly normal.

I stare at her, trying to resist the urge to shove her away and trying to decide if she's sane.

"What do you want, you fucking whore?" Cindy asks, I think the two of them have a class together.

Her head turns to Cindy and her face wrinkles as if she smells something bad.

"I was talking to Tom."

I stand up. Before I do something like shove her head in her plate of food. The others follow, staring at her like she's a bug they want to squash. Oliver actually shoves her when he walks past her chair so that her elbows lands in her food. I'm almost disappointed that he doesn't do anything more.


Why the fuck is she everywhere I turn?

I'm sitting on my bag behind a spruce tree behind the gymnasium because in gym today we're supposed to be playing ski-baseball. And well, I hate skiing and I hate baseball. Them combined as you can guess is ultimate hell.

So I'm playing with the snow at my side, making holes with my fingers and remembering that I really like snow.

And all of a sudden she's there again. How could she have found me? Where did she even get the idea to look for me here? Because she has been looking for me, I can see it in the way her face brightens in the most disturbing way.

Why isn't she bugging Liam? Isn't she his new girlfriend or something like that? Immediately I feel sick and angry. My stomach is doing weird flips and I decide I'm not going to think about Liam.

"Hi Tom."

I take some snow up in my hand and throw it at her. It hits her in the chest, and she fucking giggles.

"Stop it, Tom."

Is it even possible for someone to be this annoying? And does she have to say my name all the time? It feels weird. She isn't supposed to say my name.

Even though I want to continue throwing snow at her, until I've buried her under it and she can't breath and dies shivering with blue lips, I don't. Mostly because it's kind of obvious that she wants me to continue even though she just told me to stop. Maybe she's one of those girls who thinks that if a boy likes a girl, he bugs her.

"What are you doing out here? Don't you have gym?"

How does she know that? She isn't supposed to know that. I want to ask her how she knows it, but if I did she would probably think that I want to have a conversation with her.

So instead I stand up, ignoring her and her question, grab my bag off the ground and walk away.

Of course she follows me, and not only that, but she actually starts walking beside me, her shoulder brushing my shoulder before I can jerk away.

"It's so cold," She says and rubs her arms, even though her jacket looks much warmer than mine.

I take that to mean that she wants me to respond in some weird and disgusting way like covering her shoulders with my arms and whispering, "I'll keep you warm."

I bet that's what she wants, because she rubs her arms again and tries not to stare at my arms.

Which is really weird because she's supposed to be sucking face with Liam and not thinking that she can befriend me, or seduce me, or whatever.

"Tom, I…" She begins to say, and I know the rest is something that I really don't want to hear just from the tone of her voice, but it is cut off when a hard snowball hits her in the back of the head.

She screams and draws her shoulders up so that the snow won't glide down her neck inside her jacket.

I turn around and see Rick and Oliver twenty metres away, and I begin to laugh as hard as they already are because her face is weird, as if she doesn't really know what to do. Finally, she runs away.

Good.


I see Liam for a second.

I stand up out of my chair and stick my head out the door, just in time to see him walking down the corridor a few metres away and then disappearing around some corner with his classmates.

His locker is that way.

I could follow him and see if he was normal.

See if he was acting like Liam always acted when he was hanging out with his stupid friends.

"Tom, sit down," my math teacher Tina snaps at me and drags me inside the classroom by tugging on my t-shirt.

"Okay, okay," I say and pull my t-shirt out of her grip and sit down in my chair again.

I look down at my math book. I'm actually trying to do something in this class because we have a test in three days and I don't want to fail because then I have to do it again and that is so annoying. But I guess it's kind of pointless because I never study, I can't concentrate and I don't understand anything at all in the book. But at least Tina isn't breathing down my neck when it looks like I'm doing something.

I don't know what I think about Tina. She's always bugging me, asking questions that she shouldn't ask, and she has a weird laugh. I don't think I like her. But I like it when her son is sick and she has to stay home and take care of him, because then we get insecure new teacher substitutes. And her son is like always sick.

We can do almost anything then. Well, it's not always fun, last time she was away we got some nazi-like teacher that had been in the military and he screamed at me almost the second I opened my mouth.

But one time we made a teacher with large glasses cry. Some of the girls in the class wanted to kill me for that, the nerdy ones without a life who suck up to teachers because it's the only thing they're good at, thinking we were cruel and stupid. But I mean, if she can't take some sixteen year old guys why the hell is she a teacher then?

Jack, a guy I've known since I was like six, is sitting beside me and tapping his fingers against the table in time to the music that's blaring in his ears.

Tina actually likes him so she never bugs him and therefore he can get away with almost anything, including listening to music the whole class period. It could have something to do with the fact that he's a genius. I don't know how that happened. Because in my opinion, Jack is not supposed to be a genius. He's weird, listens to weird music, talks in a weird way, laughs at weird stuff. And though he seems to be disgustingly nice and sweet, because he's so small and he smiles a lot, he's actually the opposite and likes to bully people.

"Jack, stop it," I say. I know he hears me because the smile that is already on his face becomes wider for no apparent reason and his fingers launch into some weird, hyper drum solo.

I don't really care though because it doesn't really matter to me if he continues or stops, I just wanted to have something to say so that I didn't have to stare at the numbers in my book.

I see Liam for a second. Again.

He's passing by the open classroom door.

And this time he sees me.

The second feels longer than a second. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that his eyes meet mine.

I can't decide if he is normal, because even though the second feels longer than a second it is still only a second and well…I'm bad at reading people.

I consider following him, not to talk to him, just to…I don't know...ask him why his damn new girlfriend was so annoying...why he didn't stick with Marie if he was going to end up with that…why he fucking made out with me and then ran away, giving me mixed, fucked up signals and then not even explaining himself.

Instead of doing that though I look out the window and see that it is snowing again. I hope it will keep snowing so that when I go home the snow will be falling on my face, sticking to the strangest places, first feeling cold and then almost feeling warm, when it melts. I like it when it does that.

Maybe that is as weird as Liam's rain fetish.

Jack stops drumming his fingers against the table finally, but it's not because the song has ended or because he's decided to listen to what I've said. It's because the classroom, and, well, probably the whole school, is suddenly filled with the sound of a shrill ringing.

The fire alarm.

I groan.

Not again.

I can't smell any smoke, so the only explanation for the fire alarm ringing is Oliver, Rick or whoever else skips class and thinks it's funny to smoke near the smoke detectors. Every time this happens, and it has happened four times this year, they always blow it out of proportion. Having talks about it in the assembly hall about how much false alarms cost the school and whatever else they can think up that will make us feel guilty.

"No one panic," Tina says, but I don't really know why because no one is panicking.

"At last! It's going to burn to the ground!" Someone screams because someone always has to say that.

Isaac and Tim, who I usually sit with except that Tina has forbidden me to sit with them in this class, start to scream in shrill voices and press themselves against the windows.

"I don't want to die. " Isaac moans and Tim is doing some weird parody of hyperventilating.

"Shut up!" Sarah, the class know-it-all and expert suck up, screams. She and her friends seem afraid and that is just ridiculous. One of them seems to be close to tears.

"You're so insensitive," She continues and rubs the back of her friend who seems close to tears. I think her house burned down a few months ago.

"Okay, does everyone know where we are supposed to meet?"

No one answers.

"Outside the gymnasium. You're supposed to know that. In a line so that we can count you. And no running."

"Run for your lives!" Isaac screams and opens the window.

"And we go out through the door!" Tina says, but we ignore her.

I follow Isaac and Tim, who have already jumped out the window and are waiting for me. I hear Tina sigh before I'm on the ground. I pick up my mobile, which fell to the ground when I landed, and then we walk to the gym. On our way there we meet Oliver and the others. Rick is looking smug and this confirms my suspicion that he is responsible.

"You pyromaniac," Isaac says and Rick shrugs his shoulders.

Oliver suddenly nudges me in the side and I turn towards where his head is pointing.

"Your stalker."

Fuck no.

Why can't she take a hint?

"Hi Tom."

I ignore her, we all do, and we keep walking to the gym where people are already standing in lines.

Her friends, who looked so impressed before, don't seem so impressed anymore. They seem to have got it so why can't she?

"I wonder who set the fire alarm. It's really stupid, right Tom?"

I clench my fists and feel a strange twitch by my mouth.

"But maybe it's a real fire. That would mean someone tried to set the school on fire and maybe there will be a police investigation, that would be so cool, right Tom?"

"Shut up!" I say because I can't take it anymore, but she doesn't seem to hear me because her head is turned the other way. Then she raises her arm and waves to someone.

"Liam! Over here."

Apparently, the someone is Liam, and suddenly the anger that has been bubbling inside me feels ten times as bad and it begins to grow worse as Liam starts to make his way over.

When he sees me it's obvious that he wouldn't have come over if he'd known I was going to be here.

"Look Liam, Tom is here."

Something explodes.

"The fuck is your problem?" I scream and my face feels like it's on fire.

"What do you mean?" She says and looks confused, as if she doesn't know what I'm talking about.

I push her away because she's standing too close, and she almost falls.

"What do I mean? I mean that you're so fucking annoying that I want to kill you."

"But..." She begins and it looks as if she's starting to cry.

"You heard him, you stupid bitch! Stop following him!" Rick, who never takes anything seriously, screams, looking scarier than he actually is.

"But…" She says again and takes another step towards me.

"Are you stupid?" I say and laugh, even though it's really not what I want to do.

Tears begin to fall down her face, and it is so annoying that my fingers actually start to twitch.

"Why are you so mean?" She asks and looks confused, innocent, everything that she isn't, and I just want to make her shut up and disappear. Before I think about it, I kick her as hard as I can in the leg and then I shove her so forcefully that she falls to the snow and gravel covered ground.

People around me gasp, I hear them.

Liam is one of them and he is at her side almost immediately. When he looks up at me I almost shiver because his eyes are so dark and so angry that I don't know what to feel.

"Keep your fucking girlfriend away from me!" I spit out and then there are teachers holding my arms as if they're afraid I'm going to jump Spanish girl even though I'm no longer doing anything.

"She provoked him," someone says, I think Isaac, and then I'm being led away by Bingly.


Aquafied: And I'm back, go, go! And super thanks. Oliver angst is something that I...I don't know, feels very pure to me at least. Makes me want to write about it.

Fivestar ice: Hehe, this amazing enough? And thank you, felt a bit boring to tell a story that has already been told so many times in the 'same' way - I say in a voice as if I was good enough to think that when I started this

Lidyah: Yes, Sophie is evilness. And thanks! Hearing that makes me so happy!

Porn Yesterday: Haha, very interesiting review, thanks! And I'll try, being good and all.

Mini-me: Wow, svensk människa! Go that! Lika spännande när man stöter på sånt.

Fast det är min beta-reader som skapar illusionen att jag förstår engelsk gramatik.

Och tack, tack för review.

Hehe, låt oss försvenska alla med jultraditioner.

Abhorson: Oh, thanks, makes me happy everytime I hear that. I'm kind of stupid so I have never really thought it is different, even thought it is something I try to acchieve. And teenage angst is always fun.

Usonaki: Flails back at you You make me happy!

Rachizzle: Haha, he reminds me of myself too. Thank you!