When I had the inevitable miscarridge, something inside me snapt. I bagged what little I had, and moved to the otherside of the country hitchhiking, picking strawberries for money and once I was a barmaid ( before they found out my age).

Life was difficult. I mean; when had it ever not been, but now what with working enough to pay the bills, I barely had time to destroy myself. I couldn't actually afford any alcohol or enough food for me to puke up, so strangely enough I was beginning to get healthier. At any rate I got up for run nearly every morning, along the cold murky beaches.

I'd made friends. Ones that I actually counted on this time, well they fell in the place between Kerry and Brandon, which suited me fine. And back at christmas I'd actually had a relationship that lasted 2 months.

Life was far from great, but I was coping. The Brandon-shaped whole in my life was slowly healing up day by day. Infact when I heard his latest weezer cover on the radio the other morning, I merely smiled and drew my curtains back, letting in the white summer sunshine.

gothic flavor
how I miss you
if I only
once could
kiss you

I'd be happy
for one moment
of my lifetime
I'd be there

and the water
running over
me is growing
ever colder

make me happy
for one moment
of my lifetime
I'd be there

I thought it was time for epilouges, as this isnt the last of Ruby & Brandon.