Chapter 1: Reflections Of An Unforgettable Past
He waltzed through his upscale high-rise upper Eastside Manhattan apartment and dismissively threw his suitcase down upon the marble floor within the corner of the room. He took off his long black wool trench coat and scarf and threw that as well within the same fashion.
He let out a long and loud laborious sigh as he walked through his apartment, all the while unloosening his tie and taking it off, his suit jacket following soon after. He poured himself a scotch, downing the entire glass upon one drink. He poured himself another and then went unto the answering machine, pressing the play button. There were over ten messages. Some from some of his colleagues wanting to set up meeting regarding some of the cases that which he was investigating and some were just friends inviting him unto another one of their boring, monotonous parties which were filled with rich, snobby sophisticates who cared only power, greed and most importantly, themselves. Within his opinion, he never really went for things such as that. It was just not his kind of crowd. He much preferred his solitude. Just because he worked for them, that did not mean he had to socialize with them outside of his business.
Maybe it was due unto the fact that he was not like them. They were born unto the life of wealth and power. It was within their blood. None of his friends knew what it was like to get up early at five within the morning for school after being up unto three within the morning working a nine hour job just so he could save up enough money for school. None of them knew what it was like to be so tired after balancing working and studying so he could finally get that scholarship of his dream school Harvard.
He was just yet accepted unto their world. It was what was considered as "new money", "new blood" so to speak. That was what made him feel like an outsider. He was not used to this kind of living. A living where he had the money and power to make anything that which he dreamed a reality. Sometimes, he seemed all to good to be true. He was sometimes afraid to close his eyes for if he did, it would suddenly dissipate right before him. It was heedless to say that he has come a long from those days within Milford, Massachusetts.
But alas, he had to make at least a couple of appearances. He had his "so-called reputation" to uphold after all. Everything that which mattered unto his friends and colleagues was their image. They did not care about the importance of their work or the impact that which they could make within people's lives. The case that which most of his colleagues and friends were involved within were solely based upon the wealth that which they would acquire and they accolades and recognition that which they would get. If it was not something that which would make the press or become high-profiled. Then it was considered below them.
Why was he complaining? It was those kind of cases that which made him the rich men he is today. Never within a million years did a small town boy like him coming from a lower class family even bethink that he would make this much money. At least, not within this lifetime. But even so, he could not help but feel unfulfilled. It was if what he was doing was not of dire importance. It may have been materialistically gratifying, but within his soul, he felt empty. Like a shell of a man. He could not help but feel as if his whole life of hard work within high school and Harvard was being wasted. Like all those days of sleeping for only an hour a day, and working those nine hour to twelve hour shifts at the factory meant nothing. He may have had a lot to show for his achievements, but what exactly has he done? At twenty-seven years of age what has he done to feel good about? To feel satisfied with what he has become?
Never has he made a contribution unto society, nor has he accomplished anything that which he set for himself. When he graduated Harvard Law, his whole mindset was to change the world. To make it and himself more better, but how has he done that. He has lost himself within the glamour and glitz within his profession. He succumbed unto the masses and has become thing that which he has always despised…a conformist.
He walked over unto the couch, propped his feet upon the expensive coffee table, closed his eyes and let out a blissful sigh. It felt good to be home after a long day within the office. Litigations went longer than usual and he was within a conference that lasted for almost four hours. Without a break! It was a case of dire importance. Well, at least unto his firm. Their client was Mayor Rudolph Giulianni of New York. He was involved within some rather shady investments and substantiated a rather large lump some of money within an unscrupulous way. He was not only being investigated for tax litigation, but he was also said to be in cahoots with the mafia. Lets just say that he had a lot of work to do in getting him out of hot water, but that was his job. Setting the guilty free and making them seem innocent regardless of the fact of if they did it for not.
He ran both hands through his hair and opened his eyes, as he looked upon the ceiling. Is this is what his life is going to be like until he is banished from this Earth? A life that is stringed with falsehoods, letdowns and unhappiness? All his life, he has known nothing but loss, heartache and…sorrow. Everyone that which he has ever loved and trusted has been savagely taken from him.
The only thing that which kept him going was within having the satisfaction within knowing that he proved them all wrong. Everyone within Milford bethought that he would never make it within Harvard. They said he lacked the skills, the confidence, and the presence to ever make it a school of that high of a caliber. That his brains would not be enough. He just did not have the overall package. Even his teachers tried to dissuade him from applying unto Harvard for they did not want to see his disappointment. They all bethought that he was aiming to high. They encouraged him within trying to apply to schools more within his league. Within some of that time, he almost listened unto them and bethought they were right. A person such as himself just did not belong within such a place. He was nothing like anyone that which attended there. The kids they attended Harvard were nothing like him. It was like a whole different world. Just whom within the world was he kidding? He could fully understand why they would say such a thing. When he was a teenager, he was far from what you would call a social butterfly. He had a couple friends, if any and he was never really a joiner when it came unto school functions and activities. The only thing that which he had going for him was his brain.
All throughout middle school unto high school, he was a straight A student. Never did he bring a grade home any lesser than that. He excelled within not just Math and English, but Science as well. When he was not working, he was studying. There would never be a time that which you would find him without a book. He loved reading. He read everything from classic novels unto contemporary authors, but the books that which he loved the most were the thrillers, the John Grisham novels that which involved investigations, who dunnits, and lawyers fighting unto tooth and nail for their convictions. Ever since he was a small boy, he has dreamt ever becoming a lawyer. There was never a time that which he could remember that he wanted to be anything else. All the while the other kids were dreaming of being cowboys, astronauts and superheroes. He was dreaming of being…Matlock.
That was just the beginning of his fruition as an outsider.
It was that drive, that dedication and the doubt of all the naysayers that which fueled his ambition unto what he is now. Maybe instead of resenting them, he should thank them. Thank them for making him one of the youngest, prominent and most successful lawyers within the state of New York.
If he was to look back upon his life within reflection. There is only one person that which he can bethink of that which has ever believed within him. This person was the one that which gave him the confidence and faith to achieve all of his dreams and reach for the highest stars, no matter the distance. If it was not for this person and her faith and belief within him. He probably would not even have applied to Harvard, let anyone any place. He would probably be stuck within that hell called a town living the nightmarish existence within a dead end job wishing for better things and regretting what he had made of his life.
She is the person that which he should thank. She should be here sharing it with him. For he would not have half the things or be even the fraction of the man that which he has become if it was not for her. There is never a day that goes by that which he does not bethink about her.
She never fails to come within his mind at any given moment. He could be within the middle of a case and her face, her words; her beautiful smile will come within his mind. He drops everything, closes his eyes and just revels within those memories. Reliving them over and over within his mind. He often ponders where she is and if she is still with him. He hopes that she had finally got out of that place and started to live her life. If anyone deserves happiness, it is she.
It has been nine years since he has seen her. Nine years since he had to do the hardest thing that which he has ever done. He will never get over the guilt that which he has harbored over that night. The night that which he had left her within that horrible place. With…him. The man that which he has hated his whole life…his father. He knew that she was being strong for his benefit. He would never forget the words that which she had uttered unto him as she enveloped him within her arms. "Leave here and never look back. You're not meant for this place. You're meant for bigger and better things. Things that are beyond this place." It was those words that which reverberate back unto him whenever he is within his weakened moments of doubt. They are what got him through the toughest moments within college and even now. She will always the one thing that could bring him out of the dark and make him feel good about himself.
Their relationship was not what you would call conventional or ordinary. In fact, it was something that which you would see within a Lifetime movie. He had met her when she was twenty-seven years old and he was only seventeen years of age. She had moved unto Milford from Brooklyn, New York with her five year old daughter. She started working within the local diner aptly titled, "Lou's." It was a popular hangout with the local high school kids. He had learned from small town gossip that she was all ready a divorcee by the age of twenty. There were a lot of rumors swirling around about why she moved unto Milford. Some said that she moved there to escape some torturous past or a crazy ex-husband. While some others said that she moved unto Milford to hide from someone or something. He had never believed any of the gossip. He refused to believe anything that was said about her unless he heard it form her own lips.
She instantly fascinated all of the men and he was no exception. She was gorgeous, breathtaking. Never within his life had he seen anyone so beautiful. She was like a goddess. Like something that which walked out of one of his fantasies. He bethought that he did not deserve to be within her presence. There was a light that which emanated from her and it captivated him. Never has a woman ever affected him this way. Not even his first girlfriend. She was unlike anything that which he had ever seen before.
There were times he would find himself passing by the diner over a dozen times a day just to catch a glimpse of her. He would sometimes even sit upon the bench at the bus stop across the street from the diner, to voyeuristically watch her through the window. Her beautiful face, her haunting eyes brightly alit with a smile. He also sensed a loneliness, a sadness and…emptiness within her. It was like looking unto the mirror within his own eyes. He could easily sense what she was feeling for he sensed it just the same. She was like a paradox unto himself. He would spend countless hours pondering upon what sort of pain that which she went through to put that look within her eyes and no matter how hard that which he tried. He could not quench the feeling of wanting to rid that look that which lingered within those beautiful eyes.
It took him almost two months to even drudge up enough nerve to go within the diner to face her and try to attempt a conversation with her. He was incredibly shy and a very disastrous experience, but she laughed off his shy reserved and introverted nature and embraced him anyway. From that day on, they stroke up a somewhat quiet and unspoken friendship. A sort of alliance that which they liked to call it.
They were both were so different, but yet they found that they had so much within common as well. They both were the outcasts of Milford. The people that felt they did not belong nor fit in and they liked it that way. They both knew what it felt like to always be the odd man out and they felt a sort of kinship unto one another for that reason. Even from the beginning they knew that their friendship was far more than your average brotherly sisterly type one. The friendship that which they shared was far deeper, far more complex and far more…complicated then, which they dared not explore for it, was forbidden. They had always had this somewhat strong and unspoken attraction unto one another, but never did they cross that line. He was far too shying, reserved, and gentlemanlike and had far too much respect for her. She was way beyond his league. She was a twenty-seven year woman and he was just a boy upon the verge of manhood. There was no way that which she would even want him within that way. She saw him as the little brother she never had. At least that was what she said unto him and herself. She was very much aware of the huge crush that which he had upon her, but she had always dismissed it as nothing more than a teenage crush and nothing more. But he knew better and what he felt unto her was within another realm than what he has ever felt for any other person. Sure, he has had crushes upon other women before and has felt lust and attraction for certain women, but that was entirely natural for a boy of his age to bethink those things. What he felt for her was pure and unabashed longing. Do not get him wrong. She was an incredibly beautiful woman, but that was not what drew her unto him. He yearned more than just to satiate his basic carnal desires. He longed for her to ease his soul as well.
She was the only one that which could make him feel peace. When he was with her, for the first time he felt loved and wanted.
Never once did she ever take advantage of his feelings for her. Ignorance is bliss, huh? They were both very much content with what they shared.
That was until everything went straight unto hell and would change the course of their relationship forever and he was shocked to learn that her and his father were getting married.
He would never forget that day as long that which he lived. It was the most horrible day of his life. The feeling that which he felt was indescribable. It felt as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest and being stomped on upon the floor. Everything that which they had felt as if it were tainted by that moment. Nothing was going to ever be the same again between them. This one man would ruin their once pure and idyllic friendship. He should not have been surprised. In fact, he should have seen it coming. This was the man that which was responsible for all the pain, the doubt and anguishes that which he has ever felt within his life. How could she even want to bring her and her child within this man's home know what kind of man that which he was and what he was capable of? That was always the question that which plagued his mind. Maybe she bethought that she could change him. Maybe she saw things within him that he did not.
That was the one and only time that which he has ever felt any jealousy unto his father. If you could even call him that. He had what he yearned for. His father did not deserve her. He could not give her all the things that which she should have. His father could not make her happy. He could have made her happy, if she let him.
He often wondered why she stayed with him after he began to treat her so badly. He remembered her uttering him the reason that she was used to men treating her as such.
That had always stayed fresh within his mind. There were so many times that which he wished things could have turned out differently. That she could have trusted herself enough to let him love her that way that he always wanted to, but she had clearly elucidated unto him that she was happy right where she was. He had no choice, but to abide by her wishes. No matter how much that which he loved her. His love for her will never change. It is still as strong as it was all those years ago. It is undying. There will always be a special place within his heart for her. What he felt for her was not a schoolboy crush or fantasy for they faded over time, but this feeling never has and never will.
No woman he has been with within the past or his fiancée now will ever compare unto her and what they had shared within that unforgettable summer before he went off unto college. No matter how much he has moved on or where he is. He will never forget the one woman that which taught him what it was to love another human being and be loved within return. She had made him feel worthy of the love that which he had denied himself for far too long and for that. He will be eternally grateful for.
Before he had met her, he was strayed, misunderstood and irrevocably misguided. He cared not about anyone nor had anyone care for him. That was until she had come along. She had made him realize all that which he knew he lacked, but was too afraid to admit it unto himself.
Now, as he sits here, over nine years later, he still ponders upon all the what ifs and what could have beens. He still wonders unto this day how his life would have turned out if she had came with him. Would his life have turned out differently? Would they still yet be together or would they have discovered that what they shared what just truly infatuation and mere lust? That once outside the sheltered escapement of their humdrum lives within Milford. They would have soon discovered that it was all just a mistake and would regret all their actions within the long run.
He damns himself for even bethinking of such things. Why after all of these years is he even bethinking of her? He is a grown man. That was his old life and this was his new one. Never does he want to ever be that boy again. That boy was scared, lonely, naïve and starved of affection. He was emasculated and thrived upon attention of anyone that which give him the time of day. He would stoop down unto other's levels and swallow his pride for the mere sake of mediocrity.
This man is nothing like that boy. He will bow down unto anyone. He is independent and does not rely upon anyone but himself. He has come too far to go back now. It is time for him to start looking unto the future rather than living within the past.
Besides, it is not like she is even bethinking of him anyway. She had elucidated unto him rather clearly that she wanted nothing to do with him. She is happy within her life with…him. He is the one that which she loves. She chose him and he had no choice but to accept that. Even though he knew the truth. Even if she would never admit it, he knew. He had always known.
He found himself falling within a deep sleep as he was shrewdly awoken by the harsh sound of the door being opened and slammed closed.
He heaved an exacerbated sigh and lifted his head off of the couch.
He heard the loud clicking of high- heeled shoes upon the marble stoned floor and they were becoming increasingly closer towards the living room by each step.
Within a few mere moments, his fiancé, Rebecca was standing before him. She had over five shopping bags within her hands. No doubt from some over priced high upscale fashion store that made you pay a thousand dollars for one pair of underwear.
Her eyes widened within livid shock upon the sight of him. She immediately threw her bags down upon the floor and ran over unto him. She sat down upon his lap and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She grasped the back of his head and meshed her lips with his within a heated kiss.
He was unresponsive at first and then responded after a few seconds as he became lost within the moment.
They both reluctantly pulled apart after a few minutes due and leaned their foreheads against one another as they caught their breaths.
Rebecca smiled and said, "Hello."
He smiled as well and said, "Hello, yourself."
"You're home early. Not that I'm complaining. It's just that in all the three years that we have lived together. You have never once came home early. Now, what's the occasion?" She asked him curiously.
He shrugged and said, "There's nothing special going on. I just got done early at the office and there was really no other reason for me to stay."
Rebecca nodded her head, accepting his answer. She smiled and said; "I guess that means we have the whole night to ourselves then, huh? My, Aidan, what ever shall we do?"
Aidan grinned devilishly and said, "Oh, I think that I could think of something."
Just as Aidan was about to pull her in for another kiss, she put her finger upon his lips and said, "Hold that thought just a moment. I have a conference call I have to take care of right quick. How about you shower, change and then we'll go have dinner? How does Montrachet sound?"
Aidan inwardly sighed upon hearing her suggestion. Although he was not surprised. It was her most favorite French restaurant within New York City. It was also the most expensive. Not that he could not afford it, which he very much could. It was just not the type of place that he was comfortable at. Half the goddamn things upon the menu he could not even read. Or knew what they were. While it was true that he took French within high school. That was close unto ten years ago.
He abhorred that place with a passion. It was so dull that watching paint dry would have been more of a pleasant experience for him. Everyone that dined there were more dead than the people within a cemetery! But Rebecca bethought differently. Within all actuality. She loved it. That was her kind of people. She was solely within her element.
That was some of the many things that which they clashed upon. Rebecca came from an entirely different world than him. He was a fish and chips kind of man, she was caviar. He was a nice cold beer, while she was expensive white wine. She grew up as an only child within a world of style, grace and sophistication. She has traveled the globe and was cultured within fine art, food and dining.
Her father was a very wealthy and powerful politician working within the New York branch of the Senate and her mother was a economical lawyer within Wall Street.
Rebecca has never had to work for anything that which was begotten unto her within her life. Never has she known what it was like to work for anything that which she achieves. It has always been handed unto her upon a silver platter. Aidan could not really blame her for her ignorance. It was all that which she has ever known.
But how exactly did two entirely different people come together you ask? It is rather a quite simple story really.
They met within her freshman year at Harvard Law within the library. They were both picking up the same book upon the shelf. He, the gentleman that which he always was proffered it unto her considering it was the only copy. She felt very guilty just taking the book from him for it was obvious unto her that he wanted it as well. She had beseeched upon him if he would like to share it, which he agreed.
He had bethought she was very pretty upon first sight.
They went for coffee after that and spent almost five hours talking about everything and anything. It felt really good to finally be able to open himself up and trust someone again. And for the first time since he left Milford, he was finally ready to move on.
They begun dating soon after. After about a year of serious dating. They both agreed to become exclusive and take their relationship unto the next level. He was still yet leery at first, but she, always the persistent one reassured him that they would be good together. And sooner or later, they graduated Harvard Law and were still with one another.
They both had always wanted to move unto New York and bethought it would be the best place to begin their law careers.
They got their first apartment together from Rebecca's father. Although, he did not know that Aidan was going to be living with her. In fact, he did not really care for him at all. He had always bethought that she could do better, but is that not the father's job? To hate the boyfriend? It is within the father's handbook's guide to parenting a daughter. Rule number one to be precise.
It took Aidan a very long time to get a job. Almost a year to be truthful. There was just so much competition at there. He was always forewarned by his professors that when they were to graduate. To not always expect to get a job right away. He had said that everyone within the room with them right now, when they graduate, they too would be going for the same jobs. He had always shrugged it off and was overly confident within the fact that he would get a job right out of college.
He sure learned his lesson fast.
Due unto her father and mother's connection, Rebecca was given a job within one of the most successful law firms within the state of New York.
Aidan hated that. Living off of Rebecca's money. Time and time again, she would bequeath upon him if she should ask her father to get him a job, but he refused. He wanted to get a job for his qualifications and intelligence. No due unto the fact that he knew the right people. He had always worked for what he had and he was not going to stop now due unto a minor step back. It wounded his fierce male pride beyond all explanation. It made he bethink that all those years of hard work would be rendered useless. But Rebecca would always be there to assure him that it would happen for him. That it was meant to. She had always been there for him. Within his times of doubt and strife. Her faith within him never ceased to amaze him. It never diminished nor faded. She could have had any man that which she wanted, but she chose him.
He had to hand it unto her, she was right. Just before he was losing hope and was going to swallow his pride and a accept a job from her father, he received a call from Windham and Associates Law Firm. The number one high-ranking law firm within the East Coast. They represented so many distinguished and very powerful key people within society.
It was that day he accepted the job that his life began. No sooner than three weeks working there he started raking in more money than he had ever seen within all the years of his hard work. He started to become well known within high society and was being invited unto parties with celebrities of every caliber, two hundred dollar a plate dinners at fundraising galas, brunches at country clubs, drinks upon yachts and golf matches. Never within his wildest dreams did he bethink it would come unto this.
Within just three years, he is now the youngest associate ever to be promoted within the Windham law firm. He is considered to be one of the best lawyers in New York and one of the most sought after.
He is living proof that dreams do come true with a little work and patience and most of all…faith that you have the ability to make anything happen. As long as you want it bad enough.
Rebecca noticed his faraway look. She put her hand upon his cheek and said, "Hey, what's wrong?"
Aidan's quickly lifted his head up. He shook it as if to clear it from its daze. He shook his head and said, "Nothing, I'm just awed by your beauty is all."
Rebecca ducked her head to hide her blush. She smiled and kissed him, saying, "You're so sweet."
She was gorgeous, he could not lie about that.
With her wavy shoulder length golden blonde hair, bright crystal blue eyes that went well against the pallor of her skin tone. She was statuesque standing at over five feet seven inches and had a very lithe, model type figure with long legs and voluptuous curves. She could have very well have been a supermodel. She was certainly beautiful enough. He had never thought he could get a girl such as her.
As he came to bethink about it. He had never really cared for girls such as her. With their manufactured, hair within a bottle type man made beauty. He bethought they were too artificial. He appreciated beauty within its rarest and purest form. Women that did not have to hide all that which they lacked by covering themselves up with over fifty pounds of makeup. They embraced it rather than hiding behind a mask.
Maybe that was just yet another thing that drew Aidan unto…her. She was the most amazingly beautiful woman that which he saw. She was like a goddess. She did not need to wear makeup. It would only diminish her beauty. Her beauty was natural and awe striking. He could spend hours just staring upon her.
There were times he did.
But it was no use dwelling upon such things now. Those times were over and he was moving on and starting his life with Rebecca.
He loved Rebecca as much as one could love a person and she unto him. They held a deep respect and understanding with one another. Maybe it is true what they say. Things do happen for a reason.
It was fate for him to meet Rebecca, he loved her.
He tells himself that if he keeps saying it that he will believe it.
But how can you love one person and still feel as if your heart belongs unto another?
Easy…just forget…pretend…live the lie…play the role.
And he plays the part well…
"So, does french sound good? If not, then we can just stay in and order takeout."
Aidan shook his head and said, "No, that seems fine. Go take your call and I'll be done and ready to go after you're finished."
Rebecca smiled and gave him one last kiss. She got up off of the couch. Before she walked off unto her office, she turned unto him and said, "I love you, Aidan Parker."
He smiled and said, "I love you Rebecca Landon."
She blew him a kiss and walked down the hall.
When he was left alone within the living room, he laid his head back against the couch and ran both of his hands through his hair and sighed.
He got up off of the couch and was heading unto their bedroom. He was getting unchanged and was stripped down unto his boxers when he saw Rebecca duck her head back in.
She said, "Oh, I almost forgot. Some mail came for you earlier by express. It is some envelope on the kitchen table. It seemed pretty important."
Aidan nodded and said, "It never ends, does it?"
Rebecca chuckled and said, "You just figured that out?" She winked and once again, exited the room.
Aidan walked out of his room within the kitchen. He picked up the envelope and read the address where it was made from to see who it could have been by. It could not be from any of his clients for they would send it unto his office. Not directly unto his home.
So he found it odd as unto he was getting something like this here.
His eyes became as wide as saucers and he gasped aloud as he read where it was mailed from.
101 Mystic Lane
Milford, MA 01757
Katie…he could not believe that this was actually happening and now. She had sent him a letter. It was something that which he had always wished and gave up hope of ever getting. She was making contact with him for the first time in over nine years. Thoughts began swirling within his head as to why. Did she miss him? Was she bethinking of him as he was of her? Did she want him now that she knew he was rich and not some poor low life kid? How did she even find him? Did she know where he was all along?
Aidan took a seat upon the kitchen table. His knees were shaking and he felt as if he were going to collapse upon any moment. He began sweating profusely and his heart was beating at lightening acceleration.
He just sat there as if he were within a bewildered state, just staring mindlessly upon the envelope. He wanted to open it so badly, but was apprehensive of the contents. There could he countless things that she could say within this letter. When he left. There were so many unanswered questions and unresolved issues between them. He left without knowing if he had ever meant anything unto her. He knew not upon what ground they were standing on. The only thing that which he knew was that it was shaky.
For endless minutes, he kept picking up the envelope, only to put it right back down again. Maybe he could just send it back unopened and unread. Give her a taste of her own medicine and let her know what it feels like to be ignored and easily discarded. For the first two years old college. He had written her over three letters a week, begging her to forgive him for leaving her and every week, they would be sent back. Unread and unopened.
After a while, he had finally given up. He had no choice. She obviously was content with where she was at.
But what happened now?
What suddenly changed for her to send this?
If he was to open this envelope, what would it say? It would not only affect his life, but Rebecca's, his career, his friends, everything and everyone. This one single letter would inexplicably and irrevocably change the life that which he made here.
Rebecca knew not of his past with Katie. He did not bespeak a word of it unto her for it was too painful to do so. Telling her would be like reliving it all over again. If he was to bespeak within all candor. Maybe he was just a little ashamed as well. Not of his relationship with Katie, but of what he had done unto her.
Just as she did not know of Katie, she knew nothing else of his past. At least nothing that was of truth anyway. She bethought that a father who was a real estate agent within Milford, Massachusetts, raised him. He was too embarrassed to tell her that an alcoholic and abusive father raised him. That his father worked as a lumber within a factory for minimum wage and spent all of his earnings upon booze and cigarettes. That he was so tired of always being starving and wearing the same clothes every day that he was forced to get a job at the age of twelve. That he would hide out within the woods from his father just so he wouldn't beat the living hell out of him for the simple reason that he was just within his way.
No, he could never tell her that. She could never know. There was only one another person that which knew that side of him. Katie knew the REAL Aidan, Rebecca knew the FAÇADE Aidan. The two were drastically different and were both unrecognizable unto one another. The two were always at constant war with one another. Fighting for dominance of his soul.
He was consumed within the lie and found himself being submersed deeper as each day passed until there was nothing left, but this fabricated image of himself.
Aidan decided to bite the bullet and open the letter. He could not bare the suspense any longer.
He quickly tore it open before he had a chance to change his mind.
He tried to keep his hands steady. They were sweating and quivering so violently that he was having a hard time grasping the letter.
It was not very long.
He began reading the words aloud within his head.
I bet I'm the last person that you expected to hear from, huh? It's been a long time. I am writing this in regards not for myself, but to your…father. You're father is dead. Liver cancer. I bet that you're not surprised to hear that. I am holding the wake Thursday night and funeral Friday at the Holy Cross Cemetery, if you are interested in coming and paying your last respects. How do I have the audacity to even ask ya that, huh? Believe me, I know, but the fact of the matter is. He's your father and regardless of your past with one another. I feel that you should come and see him. One last time. I know that you have a great life for yourself and am in no way of trying to guilt trip you into coming, but I am swallowing my pride here and asking you to come and see him. Do it not for me, or him. You do not even need to speak to me. Do it for yourself. Whatever you choose is fine with me. Hell, you may not even be reading this, but if you are. Thanks for at least giving me the time of day. Even though I know I don't deserve it.
She signed it simply with Katie…
He reread the letter over a dozen times. Each time reading the same sentence over and over again. He's dead…dead. To bethink, when he was younger, he had actually wished that fate upon him, but he must admit. To have it actually happen is an different feeling entirely. He really did not know what to feel upon this point.
His mind that went adrift unto Katie. How would she be able to take care of her and her daughter now that his father has passed? She had no family to bespeak. Not that he knew of. She had said that she had no family left. Who would there be for her? How would she be able to pay for their home? Granted it was not the most nice house or luxurious, but it was still her home regardless. His father had pension from his job, but it would be years before she would see any kind of money and he was too young for social security benefits. How was she even going to bury him? Bury him….god, it sounded all too surreal. Like a never-ending dream which he would never awake from.
His eyes began to well up with tears. The first tears that which he has shed since that night he left the town of Milford forever.
He balled his hand unto a fist and put it up unto his closed mouth, trying to will the tears away. Was his father even worthy of his tears that which he was shedding? Why should a son feel guilty for shedding tears for his father's death?
When he left, he had always said that he would never tread foot upon that land again. It was just too many memories.
Should he go back and face all that which he has tried to forget or should he keep it where it has been for all these years?