Once there were two implements

who fought all night and day

and never ceased to take a breath;

they had too much to say.

They grieved each other endlessly,

and insults freely flowed

from one foul mouth to yonder ear

And this is what they crowed:

"You're fat and blunt," the Fork cried out,

inducing further feud.

"Why, you're no good for picking up

the real chunks of food!"

"You're much too thin," the Spoon replied,

her pride but slightly hurt.

"And as for being fat!" she spat,

"I'll have you know, they're curves!"

So on and on the bickering

continued months and years

until the other silverware

stuffed cotton in its ears.

The plastic Knife (though he himself

had very little use)

grew weary of the arguing

and verbalized abuse.

He raised his mighty plastic voice

above the awful din

and scolded Fork and Spoon about

how thoughtless they had been.

"Just listen to your stupid selves,"

the Knife said with a frown.

"I know you two can get along

and find some common ground.

"The Fork thinks that the way to help

is simply stabbing food,

while Spoon suggests that scooping up

is certainly less rude."

Resolving then to please them both

in finding a solution,

he called the local Paper-Plastic

Making Institution.

He told them, "I must have a tool

that scoops and stabs and stirs--

and having it by late this week

is what the Fork prefers."

And sure enough, on Friday night

A cardboard box arrived,

containing what the Knife

in all his wisdom had derived.

The Knife stood up atop the box

to cut the packing tape,

And when they saw what lay inside,

they stood with mouths agape.

A spoon with little prongs on top

could stab the meat with ease

and yet could scoop the things like soup

or roll-awaying peas.

So finally the feud was over

'tween the Spoon and Fork,

and they agreed on naming "it":

it had to be a Spork!

(A Foon wouldn't be quite the same.)