Once there were two implements
who fought all night and day
and never ceased to take a breath;
they had too much to say.
They grieved each other endlessly,
and insults freely flowed
from one foul mouth to yonder ear
And this is what they crowed:
"You're fat and blunt," the Fork cried out,
inducing further feud.
"Why, you're no good for picking up
the real chunks of food!"
"You're much too thin," the Spoon replied,
her pride but slightly hurt.
"And as for being fat!" she spat,
"I'll have you know, they're curves!"
So on and on the bickering
continued months and years
until the other silverware
stuffed cotton in its ears.
The plastic Knife (though he himself
had very little use)
grew weary of the arguing
and verbalized abuse.
He raised his mighty plastic voice
above the awful din
and scolded Fork and Spoon about
how thoughtless they had been.
"Just listen to your stupid selves,"
the Knife said with a frown.
"I know you two can get along
and find some common ground.
"The Fork thinks that the way to help
is simply stabbing food,
while Spoon suggests that scooping up
is certainly less rude."
Resolving then to please them both
in finding a solution,
he called the local Paper-Plastic
He told them, "I must have a tool
that scoops and stabs and stirs--
and having it by late this week
is what the Fork prefers."
And sure enough, on Friday night
A cardboard box arrived,
containing what the Knife
in all his wisdom had derived.
The Knife stood up atop the box
to cut the packing tape,
And when they saw what lay inside,
they stood with mouths agape.
A spoon with little prongs on top
could stab the meat with ease
and yet could scoop the things like soup
or roll-awaying peas.
So finally the feud was over
'tween the Spoon and Fork,
and they agreed on naming "it":
it had to be a Spork!
(A Foon wouldn't be quite the same.)