You enter an extremely large courtroom, several hundreds of yards long, with rows and rows of seats to each side of the main walkway. You walk for what seems like forever, toward the stand where the judge sits, to your surprise, behind a black screen. Finally, after seeming hours, you arrive. The bailiff escorts you to the stand where you are meant to testify. The jury is to your left, and it seems like their section stretches on forever into the distance. The bailiff holds out a book, emblazoned with "The Holy Bible" in bright gold letters on the front.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" he asks. "And he will help you, if you ask him to."
Now there's one you've never heard before. You get your little mental laugh in before the anxiousness sets back in, with the utter nervousness. Finally, you barely manage to stutter your agreement. You're amazed you could say anything at all.
The bailiff leaves, satisfied with your answer, and the prosecuting judge approaches you. He is wearing a suit so white that it nearly blinds you, but you recover, and prepare for his questions.
"What is your name?" You panic. You can't even remember your name… and at a time like this, too. Ah, that's it. You tell him your name, and he nods. "Let the record show that the witness has identified himself as the defendant. Now, let us move on to the next question." He hesitates for a moment, looking at the judge's seat, then back at you, in the eyes. "Now tell me, sir, when were you born?" You answer, the answers coming easier to you now. "Very good. Now for my final question. Did you pledge to follow the Lord Jesus Christ, to give up all your worldly possessions to god, and accept his forgiveness for your sins, while you were still on earth?"
You freeze, and your head drops. Saddened, you answer, "No, I did not."
The prosecuting attorney nods. "No further questions, your honor," he says, and takes his seat.
Your attorney stands in his bright white suit, bows his head somberly, and after a moment, begins to laugh. "You're so gullible, silly human." He looks at the judge and sneers. "Mark off one more, old man."