Many of my house mates enjoy eating apples, as do I. We would all buy different kinds of apples and compare how crisp they were, as that we all agreed that mushy apples were not delectable at all. One of my house mates told me that Courtland apples were the crispiest. So I went and bought three of them. And upon eating one it became apparent that it was by far the worst apple I've ever eaten. In my life. It's so not crispy, it's like scraping applesauce off a spherical object with my front teeth. And when it gets to chewing part of the process, I don't even take the first chomp down yet, when already the skin of the apple separates itself from the mush, and I have to sit there and chew the skin while everything else just feels gross in my mouth. The consistency was slighter harder than cold mashed potatoes.

Everybody here denies that they've ever told me anything about Courtland apples, but I didn't pursue the matter. Somebody is guilty though, because I heard no complaints when I stealthily switched my apples with theirs.