A.N:for J.D.hope you like it.

don't touch the knife.......

i stretched my fingers out to the

gleaming silver blade in front of my face

I thought of everything they'd ever done to hurt me

i thought of the looks on their faces as i screamed

at their ears,"Look what you have driven me too!"

then i threw the idea of that glory away,i thought of it

adding to my normal pain,i decided there and then

i knew if i slipped more i couldn't cope

i'd never use it to relieve my longing,

I'd never use it on me.

i touched its tip....i felt its point and i dropped it

as if it was burning my icy hands.

I pushed my door shut,I pulled the window open

Looked down into the beautiful heat

of the storm below,my relief

flooding through me,through my blood in spite of myself.

i listen so hard for the call of my name from downstairs

and i pray that it will never come,once it does i am

back in the world i don't want to be in

i never wanted to be concious of the painful hot tears

coursing down my own face,i didnt want to exist anymore.

i stared out into that storm,i tried to love the colours and the drenching

silver liquid but i couldnt.....i couldnt.....not like i used to......

my name,from downstairs,it parted my eyes and made the dried

jewles on my eyelashes sting in my misery.

I slipped.....down......down.....down....

I picked the knife in my feverish hands

and i threw it out the window

to the storms beautiful colours,it was at home there

home.......home......take me home.....