MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION

A smile slowly creeps

onto the contour of my face

my eyes circle round joyously

loving and blessing this place

while all around me stand

my friends; my lads; my dears

in a circle around my bright silhouette

hands clasped in kindness

and love, one to the other

three-hundred-and-sixty degrees

but, oh, this can't be:

my eyes trick me my emotions confused

for in and out the circle

there exists no space

no emptiness for me to fill,

no two hands to grasp

and hold

no, this cannot be

why is it happening?

Frantically searching

my heart pounding fast

still no place to fit in

no hand to grab

I rush around the circle

in embarrassing disgrace

try to force, to plead, to beg

to no avail, with every day

and plead, the circle closes in

no smiling, no laughing

only a vile, iron look

upon their daunting faces

still I plead, on my knees,

salvation in my cries

tears in my eyes

ripping out my heart

to show it to them

but closer the circle

closes, faster and faster.

Oh, what is the matter

with my old comrades

my old companions, and partners?

What else shall I do?

I've given my all to them

opened my world to them

believed in them

cheered for them

stood by them as best I could

I've given them respect

helped when I could

why can't I have their respect?

I've been as good a friend

as I could possibly be

yet I'm still scorned,

still loathed and shunned

cast out of a circle

I was never in

before I ever had the chance

to be in it

what's the matter with them!

Are they blind and deaf?

They've been jerks

heartless, soulless

ignorant, arrogant

yet I have still

reached out to them

uncaring, unkind

nasty, and spiteful

though I keep extending

my arm in friendship to them

why can't they see

that all I've wanted

is to be their friend

that has always been my goal

no more and no less

I've given them everything I can

and they've given me nothing!

The circle stops

enough room to let me breathe

looking down on me

with dark eyes

and expressionless faces

then they turn their backs

still hanging on each other's hands

a few break off, smiling and

then patting me on the head,

then returning to the circle again

slowly, they all start moving

the circle back, back, and

back even further, until they've

all disappeared into the surrounding

shadows

never reappearing again, and I m left

totally and completely alone.

Slowly, I stand

again searching for my circle

my beloved, my cherished

but they are nowhere

to be found

but I never disappear

and I never will

for no matter how angry I seem

how sad I may get

how much hate may come

I will never back out on them

no matter how much they scorn me

no matter how much they shun me

no matter how much they dislike me

they are my friends

and I would sooner die

then not care about them.