What light could pierce the darkest hearts
of those who sleep alone?
Of those who walk the world in search
of a hope to call their own?

Those people toss and turn each night,
afraid to face their dreams.
Doomed to wake to those same sounds…
the echoes of their shattered screams.

It's in my bloodline to betray
the ones that I hold dear.
My heritage is sinking in,
blurring what was clear.

The lies escape my parted lips
gushing forth from tattered seams—
the seal of lonely nights long spent
alone with my dark dreams.

In desperation now I write,
not for hope or as a plea,
but for the need to show to you
the side of me you didn't see.

I've slashed my skin and hurt myself
to feel I've paid for every sin.
Someday I hope you'll understand
why I can never let you in.

I can't tell you how many times
I've thought of suicide.
I think of all the ones I've hurt…
They'd be safer if I died.

The people that I love the most
can't help but get sucked in.
I hurt them when I try to play
a game I cannot win.

Inward I reflect and sigh,
and realize it's plain
I don't remember how to live
without a constant source of pain.

I don't want to be this way,
but poison is my lifeblood now.
The will to live is simply gone.
I want to heal but don't know how.

Sometimes I just wish I could say
the things I really think and feel
But I don't even know, myself,
if they are even real.

It's just as well, I have decided,
for in the dark depths of my silence,
'neath the softly muffled screams
lie unspoken thoughts of violence.

What goes around will come around,
and I'll be waiting for that day
to kill this toxic bitch inside,
to kill me so I'll go away.